Ep.108 Michael's Journey to Sobriety - A Story of Hope and Recovery
**Booda:** "Ladies and gentlemen, what's going on man? It's your boy Booda. Welcome to the ARCast. I am here once again, man This is a remote interview We haven't done one of these in a minute, but I'm super excited. The gentleman that I got in here today We got we got connected on Facebook man, and I asked him if he wanted to come through share his testimony He was like, yo, dude, let's do it.
And I gotta show you guys. I gotta show you guys. He is 575 days sober. All right. You're not even going to be able to recognize this man right here that I'm about to show you. Check this out. We do recover. It's incredible, man. So ladies and gentlemen, get up out your seats. I'm in one, I must stay here, but y'all get out of your seat and let's give a huge, huge, huge round of applause.
To my homeboy, there he is right there, ladies and gentlemen, give it up, Michael Morlan, right there, bro. How are you doing, dude?"
**Michael:** "I'm doing fantastic."
**Booda:** "Yeah? Alright, dude, so, bro, 575 days, that's, that's crazy. That's crazy, congratulations."
**Michael:** "Thank you, I appreciate it."
**Booda:** "I'm really excited to have you on the show, dude, I appreciate it because we, Trying to do something different with these remote podcasts and I want people to be able to spread, you know, I want people to be able to speak their testimony and to be able to spread a positive message, man. And I mean, looking at this picture, dude, looking at, I mean, it's just, it's incredible. It's, it's completely unrecognizable. Do you remember, do you remember that day?"
**Michael:** "Oh, it was an awful day. I was actually on my birthday in 2020."
**Booda:** "20, oh my God. When's your birthday, bro?"
**Michael:** "June 19th."
**Booda:** "June 19th. Okay. So you're in the middle of. Of, uh, of COVID, right? The, like the worst time period in the world and you're over there just trying to survive. That's crazy."
**Michael:** "That was actually a mugshot."
**Booda:** "Yeah, no, I'm thinking about that time period on your birthday, what you must've been going through. That's, that's nuts, dude. And I mean, to see where you're at now, it's, it's truly incredible. What have you been up to?"
**Michael:** "Well, as of right now, I went back to high school to get my diploma."
**Booda:** "Good for you."
**Michael:** "I'm getting my certificate for integrated behavioral health to become a BHT."
**Booda:** "Dope. Okay. You know, I want people that are out there to know that recovery is possible. They seen your picture. They see what you look like right now, bro. Clean shaven, doing good, you know? So let's go back to the beginning. Where are you from homeboy? Where were you born?"
**Michael:** "Phoenix, Arizona."
**Booda:** "It's a hot place to grow up, man. Uh, how was How was your childhood? Did you have any siblings, brothers and sisters? What was, what was the background?"
**Michael:** "Well, see, I have my brother who's an Irish twin of me. He's, he's only 10 months older. Childhood was kind of interesting. It's dad was diagnosed with John Hawkins lymphoma when I was at a young age and given six months to live. He beat it. He was in remission, but it changed my family's dynamics a lot. And it's just like, my parents weren't really. Intentive with me, especially when I hit high school, which is where my drug addiction began."
**Booda:** "And tell me a little bit about the disease that your dad had for those, like myself, who are unaware of what that is. What does that mean?"
**Michael:** "It's a terminally ill cancer that literally affects your body and you have to go through chemo and radiation. My dad, even doing radiation and chemotherapy, he was getting up every day to go to work because he had kids he had to feed."
**Booda:** "And your mom and dad, were they married and stuff the whole time?"
**Michael:** "Yeah, there were some issues with my mom and dad that I was too little to understand, but my mom has a disability to where it's as she gets older, her mind deteriorates a little bit as it goes. But there were some situations that arose when I was a child and my mom had to be absent. During the time that my dad had cancer."
**Booda:** "Okay. So that's something that they've both been kind of struggling with or like your whole adolescence and everything like that."
**Michael:** "Yeah."
**Booda:** "You know, and, and let me ask you this, man, Michael, was there any addiction or anything like that in your family growing up, bro? Do you, do you remember anybody having an addiction, anything like that?"
**Michael:** "Honestly, I'm not gonna lie to you, I don't, but my mom was adopted, and from what I understand now as an adult, addiction runs on my mom's side of her family, on her biological."
**Booda:** "So growing up, this was something that you and your brother were pretty familiar with. Were they able to take care of themselves, or did they have, you know, other family members and stuff that were there helping them?"
**Michael:** "We'll see. My dad always had his mom, which is my grandmother and my aunt, which is his sister. And they were always involved in our lives at a young age. Like my grandma and my aunt helped raise us, which I really appreciate. Cause I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for my aunt and my grandma."
**Booda:** "And, and, you know, what about like with school, dude? Like when you started going to school, things like that, were you a good student?"
**Michael:** "No, I was a terrible student through the years."
**Booda:** "I know, I know you said that you, you know, you recently just got your high school diploma. How far did you get before you dropped out?"
**Michael:** "12th grade. So,"
**Booda:** "oh, so you went, you went all the way through high school and everything like that?"
**Michael:** "Yeah, but I had substance abuse issues in high school."
**Booda:** "Were you ever diagnosed with anything? Did they ever diagnose you with like, uh, you know, with anything? Were you on medication, stuff like that too?"
**Michael:** "Uh, it was like kind of like a mood disorder and a couple things, anxiety."
**Booda:** "Okay, and as far as the school goes, you didn't have any positive outlets like, uh, like football, sports or anything like that that you did?"
**Michael:** "I was actually the head of yearbook and, um, I did a lot of computer club things where I did stuff with computers and stuff like that."
**Booda:** "Oh, okay. And at what age did you start dabbling in substances, man? When did that all happen for you?"
**Michael:** "Well, I started smoking marijuana when I was nine years old, which there was a lot of issues with that. Then I started using methamphetamine."
**Booda:** "Were your parents aware that you had started dabbling in things like that? Or were they, you know, due to the circumstances, were they pretty checked out?"
**Michael:** "They weren't aware of the situation and of me smoking marijuana until I was like 12 years old."
**Booda:** "So during that whole time, like with your school and stuff, you were just kind of slacking off or whatever, getting involved with the wrong crowds, things like that?"
**Michael:** "Yeah, that's pretty much how it went."
**Booda:** "And then at what age do you remember? Was there something traumatic that happened or any type of situation. Like when you remember when substances started becoming more of a hindrance, like, you know, like when we first started using bro, everything's fun, you know, drinking is fun, getting drunk, all this type of stuff. At what time in your life did this start becoming a real hindrance to you?"
**Michael:** "Well see, it would have been my freshman year in high school, I was drinking really heavily, like I would have handles of liquor a night with my buddy at a fire and it just progressed to where I was going to school drunk."
**Booda:** "Okay, going to school drunk, and did you get in trouble for that too? Like when you were at the school, did they ever catch you?"
**Michael:** "I was one of those people who knew how to hide their issues with substances all really well."
**Booda:** "Professional. You're a professional, bro. And, and like, you know, what ended up happening brother, like after school, when you ended up dropping out, stuff like that, what was the circumstances with that? Were you working, you know, let us know a little bit about that."
**Michael:** "Well, I worked at McDonald's for a little bit, and then I met my ex girlfriend who, um, It's just things progressed to where I stopped talking to my family and started picking up a meth habit way worse. Me and my ex girlfriend in 2016, we had suffered a stillborn, which then progressed me to, to me to start drinking a lot more. Um, it got really bad and then I was using meth a lot more. Um, and then 2017 we suffered another stillborn. Made it go a little bit more after that. And then in 2018, son was born alive and died nine days later. The day that my son died, I put a needle in my arm."
**Booda:** "Oh my God, man. I'm so sorry to hear that. So you guys experienced so much loss in that little bit of time. And did that relationship that you had, you know, going through all of that trauma and experiencing that type of loss with another person, is that, was that kind of one of the reasons why you guys had separated, I'm guessing that, you know, you hear so much. People that go through things like that. It just puts like such a huge weight on the relationship and with everything. You know what I mean?"
**Michael:** "Yeah. Well, see, the relationship actually ended in 2022 before I went to the ARC because of substance issues and I, I was done. I was done being an addict. I was, I needed to go get help and she wasn't willing to go and get help."
**Booda:** "So experiencing that, you know, with your girlfriend at the time, you know, two losses, and then finally giving birth and losing your son at nine days. You know, which by the way, I'm so sorry that you guys had to go through that, man. Looking at the mugshot dude in that picture, you know, that, that you have, it's like, I'm guessing the type of lifestyle you were living at that time, you know, was, was really dark. And I'm sure with every loss, it just got a level darker and a level darker, right? What was the thought for you, man? Like, when did, when did things start changing to that point where you were actually like, Hey, I need to do something about this. Like, I need to change my life. How did that moment hit you? Where were you at? Do you remember?"
**Michael:** "I do. I remember it like clear as day. I was On the streets, I had just suffered 12 overdoses back to back to back to back. Me and my aunt were arguing and she slammed on her brakes when we were screaming because I just yelled at her and told her to stop. It got to a point to where I wasn't wearing a seatbelt, that was my bad, and I flew into her windshield and I cracked her windshield and I'm like, am I really doing this to myself? To where I have to argue with the person who raised me and Try to justify my actions when I can't justify anything that I was doing. I was out there killing myself every single day and killing my family and my loved ones. And that's just not right."
**Booda:** "And up until that point, you had never had those types of thoughts ever. Like what about growing up? Did you ever have any sense of faith or anything like that, man?"
**Michael:** "I grew up in a Catholic family, um, household. I was an altar boy, so I, my faith was shaken when I was in high school. Yeah."
**Booda:** "So, I mean, you're, you, you're in the car, you're having this argument, I'm guessing, man, I mean, you said you were out there in the streets. Was there, was there a time in your life where you were just completely homeless too, just living out there?"
**Michael:** "I was five years on the streets."
**Booda:** "Five years on the streets and all of this happened, was this all happening simultaneously with the loss that you guys had or was this after?"
**Michael:** "This was after, this was, um, so in 2018, that's when I decided to start using needles and rigs. Um, I picked up a, cause I was getting misdemeanors and stuff like that, but then I picked up a felony case. In 2020, where I served time, where I literally, all of 2021, I was incarcerated, and I got out in February of 2022, was sober for two months, relapsed, and then that's when me and my aunt started having issues. And we got into that argument somewhere around July of 2022. And so, okay. So it was, it was just that, that moment of like disparity of like, you know, man, I'm at, I'm at my wits end pretty much."
**Michael:** "It's like a moment you were crying out, you know what I'm saying? That's like the most part, one of the most powerful moments in your life. Was it hard for you once you had that thought in your head to enter here, over here at ARC? Like, was it, was it an easy decision? Were you. 100 percent done or did you, were you still a little bit reluctant?"
**Michael:** "Once I actually got into the detox center here at Calvary and then, um, they sent me to the ARC, it was, that was a moment of clarity where I was done because a week before I went to the Calvary to get clean, I went to Vogue and they sent me to Crossroads and I, I walked out. I'm going to be honest. I walked out. There was issues with another patient. And I had to walk out and I finally, three days later, after I walked out of Crossroads, I went to Calvary and then a case manager, and I won't forget his name, his name was Sean. He's like, I want to send you to Tucson. I want to send you to the ARC, get you out of Phoenix, work on yourself."
**Booda:** "What ended up, if you don't mind me asking brother, what happened to your parents, are they both still around?"
**Michael:** "Yes. My mom right now is in the hospital dealing with some medical issues and my dad is. Got some issues of going on with himself, but they're still around."
**Booda:** "Okay. So I guess the reason why I was asking that was just cause I didn't know how the relationships in your life, how they were at that time, you know, right before you came in and really started taking the recovery seriously, other than your aunt, did you have any communication with your parents or were you just completely cut off from your family?"
**Michael:** "I was completely cut off in a way, like, a lot of my family members didn't really have hope. They thought I was going to die out on the streets. Like, I, some hurtful things were said against me right when I went into recovery that I still remember, but you know, I got to remember the person I was, the person I did, and the things I did. I have to re earn that respect that I lost, that I took away from my family."
**Booda:** "Yeah, and I mean it's that's For one. I mean, we just I just did a podcast earlier and we were talking about accountability, man that's such a big thing like because in all honesty that's one of the things that I feel like a lot of people struggle with is they get these severed ties with their family, right like They do some horrible shit and all of a sudden it's, you know, I, I think the addiction has a really sneaky way of making you feel like those ties could never be fixed again. Like once that bridge is burnt, it ain't coming back up type of thing. You know what I mean? I feel like I, you know, as far as taking the accountability goes, man, it's, it's allowing yourself to see. You know, where your faults were in this situation, but also at the same time too, I'm sure since you've gotten sober, a lot of those connections have been able to be re established again, right?"
**Michael:** "Yeah, I even, um, started talking to my high school sweetheart. Which we had a relationship now and we have a newborn baby."
**Booda:** "Oh man. Congratulations. That's what's up, dude. That's good. Hey, you know what? We're going to, we're going to go into that right now. I wanted to, I want to touch into that cause that's a very important thing. But you know, when you came, when you finally came to ARC, right, was ARC where you feel like you finally got it? Like ARC is where, where you got that recovery bug and everything started changing."
**Michael:** "Yeah, of course. The staff at ARC was amazing. And when, even when I had doubts, Like, I had a moment of darkness when I was in residential and I was just like, I don't think I can do this. Um, there was a BHT named Angie who took me aside and actually talked to me and actually helped me through some of the issues I was having."
**Booda:** "And what, what other, what other things, you know, other than the accountability and stuff like that, what were some of the other things that you learned through the classes that you hadn't really known before that helped you in your recovery?"
**Michael:** "I learned a lot about coping with issues that were causing me to use and then like how to cope with the trauma that I faced, especially some of the trauma I faced on the street. Um, and then another thing is to talk about when I'm hurting or talking about when I'm having issues, instead of just like blocking myself from the world. It, it helps you to, to express your issue, you know, an issue that you're having."
**Booda:** "And, and so now, you know, you, you, uh, You came out of ARC, you've got 500 and, man, it's 500, almost 600 days, bro, of being able to live this new life. All of these new things started changing, right? You got, you got this new relationship, you got this new sense of life. How, like, for somebody who's on the other end, you know, watching this, maybe they're in active addiction right now at the moment, bro. And maybe they feel like You know, I've, I've done all of these heinous things. I've, you know, I've burnt all these bridges. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares about me. My life is always going to be at this darkest, lowest point that it's at now. What advice or what could you say to that person right now, looking into that camera and telling them that you feel is something you wish someone would have told you?"
**Michael:** "Honestly, you all, you, you got to start somewhere. You can, you can't let yourself sit in darkness. To be able to get out of the darkness, you need to step out into the light. You gotta, you gotta accept help that's offered. Like, there's so many centers that you can go to. There's so many detox places that you can go to to actually get what you need. And people you can talk to and, um, there's so many places you can go nowadays. And it's just I know it's a struggle and I know it's hard, but if you're, if you're willing to change and you're willing to take that step, there's so many doors can open for you and it will change your life."
**Booda:** "Absolutely. Absolutely, man. That's awesome. And, you know, going back to, you know, uh, some of the things that were essential for you when staying in your active recovery right now, doing your thing, man, how much would you say? You know, as far as the steps goes, like staying in community, having a higher power, things like that, how much of that do you feel plays a role in your success today?"
**Michael:** "A hundred percent. All of it, it plays a part in where I'm at."
**Booda:** "All right. And, and how does the recovery look for you, brother? Are you going to meetings weekly? Like, like what is your, we always talk about recovery is kind of like a tailored suit, right? So what works for you might not necessarily work for the next person. What are, what are you doing on a daily basis?"
**Michael:** "On a daily basis, I try to be active with my family. I got a seven year old stepson and a baby, so it's hard for me to get into meetings, you know, but I, I try to at least touch a meeting once a week, maybe once a month, depending on it, especially if I'm in a dark place, I will tune into a meeting. Even if I don't share, just listen to the other people sharing in a meeting. It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not alone."
**Booda:** "Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Feeling like you're not alone is the hardest part. Especially when we're in that darkness, man. And it also, it always seems like You know, the devil works and moves in overtime when you're alone and you're just with your thoughts. You know what I'm saying? He's able to kind of talk to you and throw all kinds of garbage at you. You know, going back, talking about your life now, man, you know, with your high school sweetheart, I really wanted to focus on that a little bit. You know, we talked a little bit about the weeds, but let's talk about the flowers, right? I mean, it's obviously possible, bro. It's obviously possible. The world opened up and everything completely changed for you. You got a new relationship, you got a new baby, everything seems to be doing good. Man, are you working right now too?"
**Michael:** "I actually will be working at, uh, Frito-Lay's company, hopefully for a little bit. Okay. Until I actually can get my certificates in order to become a BHT."
**Booda:** "Awesome man. Well, dude, that, that's fantastic brother. And, and, and thank you again, man. Um, I wish we could have got you in the studio, but I thank you so much for, for being here and, uh, I hope and pray that whoever's listening to this, you know, got some hope out of it, man. I, let's hope that we can get somebody off of the street, man."
**Michael:** "I appreciate that, and I hope so."
**Booda:** "Yes, absolutely."
**Michael:** "Brother, I just want to add one thing. You know, if you're struggling with a fentanyl addiction, there are too many people dying, and from the fentanyl overdoses. The death toll is really high, and if you're struggling with fentanyl, please seek help. We don't need to add more people to the death toll."
**Booda:** "Absolutely, man. And also one more thing on that too is, you know, we we've had a few people come in from the community talking about that. They're out there doing outreach. They're offering Narcan, free Narcan to people, different things like that, you know, make sure you're trying to get off of it, man, but don't ever feel any shame of guilt if you have to take some of that Narcan or whatever it may be, you know, but seriously, it's taken so many lives. We've lost so many people when we first started here, man, it was, it was maybe alcohol. Cocaine, you know, opiates, we're, we're there with a sprinkle of fentanyl every now and then, and now it's completely opposite, man. So, something's gotta change. Well, Michael, brother, I, I wanna thank you again, dog, for coming on, and, and, uh, you know, Speaking a little bit about your testimony, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna go press this button real quick. If you give it up to my brother Michael. And, uh, you know, for everyone else who's watching this right now, I hope you guys got something from it. I think my brother so much for coming on, you know, hopefully we can get you in here for a part two pretty soon, man. And maybe, you know, fill us in a little bit on how everything else is going, man. Maybe you can come over here and work or something, dog. We'll see what's up, you know, let me know, dude, when you're ready. We'll, we'll, uh, we'll put your name on."
**Michael:** "plans in the works."
**Booda:** "All right, brother. Well, you have a fantastic day and to all of the listeners as well. You guys have a fantastic day, man. Much love, God bless. And we'll see you on the next one. Peace."
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