Ep.109 Overcoming Addiction: Richard Baltazar's Journey
**Booda:** Thank you guys so much for tuning into The ARCast. Hope you're doing well. My name is Booda.
**Mikayla:** and I'm Mikayla
**Booda:** Welcome back, Ms. Mikayla. It's very good to hear from you. How are you doing?
**Mikayla:** I'm doing well, thank you, how are you?
**Booda:** I'm doing good. Doing good. We got a gentleman right here in the studio. He's a frequent listener of the podcast. He's an alumni. I've known him for a couple years now. He's doing fantastic. And he was all giddy coming into the studio. So I want to introduce him to you and to everyone else out there, all the listeners. Give it up to our brother, Richard Baltazar. Yeah. You've got a big ol smile on his face, Mikayla. You should see him. How you doing buddy?
**Richard:** I'm doing good.
**Booda:** You doing all right?
**Richard:** Yeah, happy Easter
**Booda:** happy Easter.
**Richard:** Happy April Fool's too.
**Booda:** Absolutely. April Fool's for all the listeners. You're probably going to hear this sometime in June, but it was Easter when we recorded it. So happy Easter to all you guys. I hope you guys are having a beautiful one out there. But no man, I mean, congratulations dude. Two years bro.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** I can't believe it's gone by that long.
**Richard:** I can't neither.
**Booda:** Two years. And what are you doing now?
**Richard:** Um, I do special events security.
**Booda:** Special events security?
**Richard:** Yes.
**Booda:** Where at?
**Richard:** Um, all over Tucson. U of A, TCC, the Rodeo Grounds.
**Booda:** Oh man.
**Richard:** Pima County Fair, Sal Pointe High School.
**Booda:** That's cool. Yeah. And you've been doing that for a minute? How long you been doing that?
**Richard:** I've been a security guard for 10 and a half years.
**Booda:** Dang. Alright, there you go.
**Richard:** Been up to the Super Bowl.
**Booda:** Oh, did you?
**Richard:** Uh, 2014, 2015 I went.
**Booda:** Who was there?
**Richard:** To help out. I believe it was the New England Patriots and the Eagles.
**Booda:** Oh, Mikaela, that's all you. Uh,
**Mikayla:** yep. I am an Eagles girlie.
**Booda:** Oh man, well that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I heard you telling me that you were going to be doing like the Pima County Fair and stuff. We got Michael Salgado coming up. We got Sublime with Rome. Shout out to DJ Jamar International, he's going to be there. That's my homeboy too. They got some, uh, who else is going to be there? Paul Wall.
**Richard:** We have Ice Cube coming into Tucson to the, uh, AVA.
**Booda:** That's cool. Yeah. That's cool. I want to go see Gabriel Iglesias.
**Richard:** Yeah, he's coming in August.
**Booda:** Yes, Gabriel. I've always wanted to meet him, man. He's a cool dude. You ever met him before?
**Richard:** No, but I've worked his events before.
**Booda:** Yeah, that's awesome, man. Well, dude, it's a absolute pleasure to have you in here, man. You're doing fantastic. Two years, It's kind of hard to even fathom that that much time has gone by already. But, I mean, it's, uh, I appreciate you taking interest and wanting to come and share your testimony, dude. So, let's go back to the beginning. Richard, where are you from, buddy?
**Richard:** I was raised, uh, here in Tucson, in South Tucson, I grew up. Uh, on 35th, between 2nd and 3rd.
**Booda:** On 35th, between 2nd and 3rd. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you, brother?
**Richard:** I just turned 47. I'll be 48 in July.
**Booda:** Oh, wow. Okay. I think my, my, uh, my uncles and a lot of my uncles from my dad's side grew up around that neighborhood. So, okay, so that's where you're from, the South Side, and, uh, what about growing up? Did you have any siblings?
**Richard:** Um, I have one, one sister younger than me.
**Booda:** One sister younger than you? Yeah. And what about the dynamic as far as you growing up? Did you have your mother and father in the house?
**Richard:** My mom was, my mom and dad were both around.
**Booda:** Okay.
**Richard:** My dad was an addict. In and out of prisons the whole time.
**Booda:** Really?
**Richard:** My whole childhood.
**Booda:** Were they married?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Wow, okay. So it's just your mom, your dad, you and your sister.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Four. Four of you guys.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Man, and how was, you know, growing up as far as like your childhood? Did you have much of a childhood? How did you do in school? Were you in school?
**Richard:** I did good in school, passed all my classes except for driver's ed.
**Booda:** Okay.
**Richard:** Oh no, actually I passed driver's ed.
**Booda:** Yeah?
**Richard:** Just didn't want to drive after high school. I've been taking the buses everywhere ever since high school.
**Booda:** Yeah
**Mikayla:** Driver's Ed was not, was not my course.
**Booda:** I remember taking that. That's probably the only class that I really liked because I wanted to drive. I just wanted to get out of the house, man. Driver's Ed was my thing.
**Richard:** The only class I didn't like was PE.
**Booda:** Really?
**Richard:** Yeah. I, I hardly ever dressed out for P. E.
**Booda:** Bro, everyone slacks off during P. E. That was like my, that was like one of my other favorite classes. I could just disappear.
**Richard:** But I was kind of mean, or I was kind of afraid of my P. E. teacher because my P. E. teacher was also the wrestling coach.
**Booda:** Oh, okay, alright. So you act out a lie and they're gonna tackle you down real quick.
**Richard:** Yeah, take me down.
**Booda:** Ah man, okay, so you did pretty good in school though, other than that? You graduated, you got your diploma and everything?
**Richard:** Graduated in 94 from, uh, Flowing Wells High School.
**Booda:** Okay, and as far as, you know, like you said with your dad being an addict and everything, was he a functioning addict? Like when he wasn't in prison and stuff, did he have a pretty stable relationship with him? Or was he kinda separated from the picture, in and out?
**Richard:** He was in and out of the picture.
**Booda:** Yeah.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** What was the la like, was he in prison the majority of your life?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Do you remember? Okay, and your mom was with him the whole time though. She stood by him by his side.
**Richard:** Yeah, they were together for over 20 years.
**Booda:** Wow, 20 years, okay. Growing up, you know, other than your father having an addiction, was there ever any type of diagnosis that you had? Like, you know, ADHD, depression, any other forms of addictions?
**Richard:** I grew up with ADHD, so I was in special ed all throughout school.
**Booda:** Okay, your whole academic career pretty much?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** And What about when you, you know, when you graduated, did you, um, at that time, had you dabbled in substances or anything like that, or were you pretty straight through all your school years? Um,
**Richard:** I tried marijuana when I was 18.
**Booda:** Travieso. 18?
**Richard:** Yeah, and, and I had my first drink when I was 18.
**Booda:** Oh, dang.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Was it the same night?
**Richard:** Yes.
**Booda:** I can see he has this mischievous smile on his face. So 18 years old, I mean, you're already an adult at this point. What made you want to try it, man? What was going on?
**Richard:** My cousin had asked me if I wanted to try a joint and I, and he had a beer with him.
**Booda:** Oh man. Okay. And, and, okay. And that was the first time you'd ever had a beer. It was the first time you'd ever smoked.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Yeah. Did you fall in love with it right away?
**Richard:** At first yeah.
**Booda:** It was still fun.
**Richard:** Yeah. And then after that I tried it a couple more times and then was haven't, yeah.
**Booda:** Oh, man. You never touched it after that?
**Richard:** No.
**Booda:** No. Okay. All right. All right, so that steers up a lot of questions then. So you're, you graduated from high school. You, you tried drugs a couple times. You tried weed, you drank a little bit, right?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** What ended up being your drug of choice? What was, what was it that hooked you?
**Richard:** Uh, alcohol.
**Booda:** It was alcohol.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** So the alcohol continued throughout the years.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** When you were, when you were an adult, you know, were you living on your own? Were you working? Things like that?
**Richard:** So I was a functioning alcoholic. I was working. I was doing landscaping with the Beacon Foundation.
**Booda:** Okay. And this was right after high school?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** When did the alcohol really start to take the driver's seat in your life? How old were you when that happened? Because I know you said. You tried drugs for the first time, you weren't a big fan. I'm guessing you were just talking about the, the cannabis, right? You weren't talking about the alcohol. You must have liked the alcohol.
**Richard:** Yeah. Okay. Um, so the alcohol really didn't start taking control of my life until I want to say five, six years ago.
**Booda:** Five, six years ago. And you're 40, you said you just turned 40?
**Richard:** 47, I just turned.
**Booda:** Okay. So you were in your forties already.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Take us back to, you know, just that moment. I mean, you're, you're, you're an adult man. You're in your forties. How did, how did that happen? How did you become addicted to the alcohol? Was there a situation or something that you experienced that kind of took you off of the edge?
**Richard:** So, so growing up. I was abused by a cousin of mine, and so I kind of blocked it out, you know. Between my 7th and, I want to say between my 8th and 9th grade year is when it happened.
**Booda:** It just resurfaced.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Out of nowhere, it was just like a, just resurfaced, wow.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** What, what triggered that memory for you? I'm just curious if, if, you know, I'm just thinking it's such a unique story at 40, you know, at 40 years old. Especially if you hadn't been drinking this whole time.
**Richard:** Um, well the drinking started when I was actually 23, off and on, I would have a couple beers here and there. Go to the Wildcat house and drink. Have my, uh, Long Island Iced Teas.
**Booda:** They had, like, Nickel Shot Night over there. The place is ridiculous.
**Richard:** My nights were Saturday nights for Tejano 1600s.
**Booda:** Okay, alright. So, the trigger came five, six years ago. Um, during, uh, a birthday.
**Booda:** And at this time in your personal life as an adult, are you living on your own at this time?
**Richard:** No, um, I'm currently with my mom and have been since throughout childhood.
**Booda:** Okay, so you've been with your mom this whole time?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Do you have any children?
**Richard:** No, no, no, no. No,
**Booda:** okay. And when this initially happened to you, Richard, who did you confide in? Did you have any type of an outlet or did you speak to anybody about this?
**Richard:** No.
**Booda:** No?
**Richard:** No.
**Booda:** Once this trigger happened, it just, it was just something that you fought with in silence?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Okay. Okay, and at what point did this world of recovery start coming into play? Like, when did you, did you know that something like this was possible?
**Richard:** No. Um, so before the, before coming into the ARC, I tried a daytime IOP and lasted only 60 days, and then I had a relapse. So one of the biggest triggers too, from the alcohol, was when I lost my girlfriend in 2007.
**Mikayla:** I'm so sorry
**Booda:** man. I'm so sorry to hear that.
**Richard:** Yes. We were together for six years.
**Booda:** Wow.
**Richard:** And I was gonna propose to her.
**Booda:** I'm so sorry to hear that. So you had this trigger and you lost your, your girlfriend.
**Richard:** Yes.
**Booda:** The love of your life at around is this, did, did both of these traumatic experiences both happen around the same time?
**Richard:** Yes.
**Booda:** And, you know, I know you've said that you've lived with your mom since you were in the school, right? So you guys have a real close relationship and stuff. Did your mom and your dad Start noticing that there was something going on with you? Like who brought that to your attention? Were you aware of it?
**Richard:** No, I wasn't aware of it. My mom didn't notice that I had a problem until three years ago.
**Booda:** Three years ago
**Richard:** Yeah The day that she brought me in, or before she brought me in, she noticed that I had a problem.
**Booda:** Have you guys always had a good relationship? Was she able to kind of bring it to your attention and you just realized I gotta take, handle this, take care of this?
**Richard:** I, I, I always, I've always hidden my, my addiction. Never really wanted, needed to get help or, you know. Didn't really know how to ask for help.
**Booda:** This was, this is your first bout of recovery. Like, like, you know, like you told Mikayla. So, how was that experience for you, man? When you came in, were you, was this something you were willing to do? Were you, were you nervous? Were you fighting against it?
**Richard:** So, I initially called myself in to, to call my, to check myself in, and my mom drove me down here.
**Booda:** Okay.
**Richard:** And I walked in through the doors, and I'm like, I was like, okay, here we go.
**Booda:** Were you scared?
**Richard:** At first.
**Booda:** Yeah?
**Richard:** Um, the first couple weeks after getting into, uh, the residential side, I didn't talk as, I didn't talk much, so I kind of sat with the BHTs to kind of, and they kind of loosened me up, you know?
**Booda:** Man,
**Richard:** yeah,
**Booda:** so I'm curious too because you know you say you're living with your mom And she didn't really bring it to your attention till right before you came in You know where were you drinking like in the house and stuff or were you pretty good about hiding like all of it completely?
**Richard:** I was good at hiding it completely
**Booda:** man. They couldn't really tell or anything staying at their house
**Richard:** well my mom kind of knew because of the because of the way I was I was acting, waking up late, trying to hide it with tic tacs, you know, my bare breath.
**Booda:** Right. I wasn't sure if maybe, you know, I'm just always curious about how that happens. You know, like if, if your mother had found like bottles or things like that, you know what I mean? Because it just seems like it went on for a long time. But I mean, that's, that's partly what we do, right? When we're in active addiction, is we get really good at being manipulative. We get very good at being able to hide things, you know, lying. Those are all, those all come with it, right?
**Richard:** Yeah. Well, then the alcohol breath didn't smell or didn't help out the next morning.
**Booda:** Yeah, you can't really cover that. It's coming out of your pores, huh?
**Richard:** Yeah. So, so I would deny that when she would ask, you know?
**Booda:** Yeah. And when you came in, man, I mean, so you, You went through the whole program. You went through detox here.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** You went through residential.
**Richard:** Yeah, residential.
**Booda:** IOP.
**Richard:** Um, so after residential, I went home and then did evening IOP from home.
**Booda:** Evening IOP.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** You know, that, the last time that you were here, that was other than that IOP that you stayed at that first time. This was initially kind of like your first time, right?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** And after this first time, you were able to find something. That helped you with your sobriety. What was that? How did it, what was the the moment in your life where that switch flipped?
**Richard:** Just hearing everybody's story from Residential and then hearing Vance's story.
**Booda:** Oh, shout out to Vance.
**Mikayla:** So something I'm kind of curious on as you're sharing your story and you know how you were saying your addiction, the like, true intensity of your addiction kind of lasted for like five to six years. Was it an everyday drinking thing or was it more like lumped into a couple days that, that your mom, that you were hiding it from your mom? Like, how did yours present?
**Richard:** It was every, every two weeks that I would drink, nonstop.
**Booda:** Like a bender?
**Richard:** Yeah, and I would, and I would buy, and I would stay out late, you know?
**Booda:** Okay.
**Richard:** I would come home at two, three, four, sometimes four o'clock in the morning.
**Booda:** So did, did you drink on the job? Like when you were, so this is all when you were doing the security work, right? So did you ever get fired from any security jobs for being under the influence? Anything?
**Richard:** No.
**Booda:** No?
**Richard:** No.
**Booda:** They never caught you.
**Richard:** No.
**Booda:** Dang, you just snuck under the radar, travieso, bro. He's got a big smile on his face. So, okay, so it was just more like that with people, you know, I mean, I guess it's kind of irrelevant, but I'm guessing, you know, you found ways of getting, especially when you were working. I'm sure people bought you drinks and did all that stuff too. You're around that Tejano music scene.
**Richard:** Yeah,
**Booda:** Oh man, okay, let me see, you said that you came here and it was just listening to everybody's story.
**Richard:** Yeah,
**Booda:** I'm curious to know Richard before any of this going all the way back when you were raised. You know you and your sister your mom or dad. Was there ever a sense of faith in your life? Did you ever have any type of sense of a higher power growing up? Was that ever a part of your life?
**Richard:** I believed in God growing up. We were always church people.
**Booda:** Yeah.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Do you feel like you, your relationship with your higher power helped you to where you're at with your sobriety right now?
**Richard:** I have to say that my higher power has helped me through my sobriety.
**Booda:** Yeah, that's step two and three, right?
**Richard:** Yeah
**Booda:** So you came through the program. I mean Richard was it easy for you once you came and you and you found that little bit of structure that I'm guessing. I mean, it seems to me. It must have put a structure in your life that you didn't really have before gave you a different understanding that you didn't have.
**Richard:** Yeah. At first it was, um, it was an easy thing for me to do. The hardest part about being in recovery was, um, has been losing my cousin and then having all those cravings and thoughts. But I, but I fought through them.
**Booda:** Okay.
**Richard:** As a, my higher power and my support.
**Booda:** Wow, okay. So, wow, that's deep man. Feeling all this grief, all this loss. You, you just had to find a way to process all these thoughts.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Mikayla:** So, now that you've gone through, you know, something that's very hard post recovery and stayed sober. What would be a piece of advice that you give to someone? You know, for you, you said it was having faith and having a higher power that helped you through. What, was there anything else? Did you keep yourself occupied? You know, was there something that you kind of turned to that, that carried you through to keep you sober?
**Richard:** Just, um, working on my, on the coping skills that I learned from, from rehab.
**Mikayla:** That's awesome. I always love hearing people, you know, referencing back to what they learned at ARC.
**Booda:** God definitely works over here, man. He's been, he's been moving over here. So, and, and I know, I know too that you are an avid attender of our evening IOP groups. You are here, at least on Wednesdays, you would come all the time. I would see you all the time, right? So what is your, what does your recovery look like for you now, Richard, that, you know, you've had two years of sobriety? What, what are some of the things that you do on a daily basis now that keep you level and grounded?
**Richard:** So, what keeps me level and grounded has been, have been working my steps.
**Booda:** Working the steps.
**Richard:** Yeah. And I've been writing journals, just started writing journals just recently, um, just meditating when I need to.
**Booda:** Yeah. Meditating. All right, man. All right. Is there anything, you know, where, you know, you've been an avid listener of the podcast since the beginning.
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Is there anything that you've heard throughout the episodes and, you know, out of all of the stuff that you've heard, is there something that, you know, when, when we scheduled you to come through and to do this interview? Was there something that you really wanted to get across to the listeners? Like a point that you really wanted to say, something you wanted to get off your chest?
**Richard:** Just pick up that phone, you know, when life starts to hit, you know?
**Booda:** Yeah.
**Richard:** Find a sponsor, if you have, if they haven't found a sponsor yet, you know?
**Booda:** Yeah.
**Richard:** Hit, hit up the meetings. Um, that's what I do every Sunday, I go to the Duck Pond meeting every Sunday.
**Booda:** Reid Park.
**Richard:** No.
**Booda:** No?
**Richard:** Fort Lowell Park.
**Booda:** Oh, okay. All right. All right. There's more than one duck, I guess. That's cool, man. Every Sunday you do that, huh?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Mikayla:** So I think something that, that people, you know, just in any aspect of your life, not necessarily just recovery, but the importance and value of a routine and what that can do for your life and the habits that you create.
**Richard:** Just thanking God for, for keeping me sober and, um, just having the support to talk to now, you know?
**Booda:** Yeah.
**Richard:** Um, Sammy is a huge supporter.
**Booda:** Shout out to Sammy.
**Richard:** You know? My, my supervisors at work, they're a huge support to me. Without them, I have, especially my mom. Uh, she's a huge support to me right now too.
**Booda:** Yeah.
**Richard:** Without, without my support, I don't know where I would be.
**Booda:** Absolutely. Absolutely. And shout out to a shout out to Miss Sammy. She's got the most amazing smile and all of recovery, man. She, she can make everybody's day better just by smiling at them. Sammy, if you're listening, man, I love you. I hope you're doing good, you know, but dude, thank you so much, brother. And one last question, you know. As far as the relationship, I'm just curious to know how is the relationship now with your mother and father? Is your, is your father still around?
**Richard:** Um, my parents have been divorced for a while now.
**Booda:** Okay.
**Richard:** But he, we visit, he visits, he has grandkids because of my sister. So he visits my niece and nephew.
**Booda:** All right, is he, is he doing okay? As far as like, did he get sober?
**Richard:** Yeah.
**Booda:** Yeah. Well, congrats to him as well, man. Congrats. And, and I'm glad, I'm glad you're doing fantastic, man. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and success in the world. You're doing your thing. Hopefully I'll see you at that Michael Salgado concert in April. All right, we can hang out or something. But, thank you, bro, very much for coming through and sharing your testimony. I appreciate it.
**Richard:** Yeah. Anytime.
**Mikayla:** Yes.
**Booda:** Ladies and gentlemen, give it up to our homeboy, Richard Baltazar. Gotta say it like that. I can't come in here and say Balthazar, it's Baltazar. For all the listeners, man, thank you guys so much for tuning in. You know, we appreciate it. We hope you guys have a beautiful rest of your week. Shout out to all of you out there that are doing your thing, handling your business and staying strong in your recovery. If you guys want to come on the show, you got a friend or a loved one, someone with an amazing testimony, please. All of the, you know, the show notes. You're going to have all the links, everything you need to get in contact with us. We can get you scheduled here ASAP, but until next time, man, much love. God bless. And we will see you on the next one. Miss Mikayla, it has been a true honor to have you back on here again.
**Mikayla:** Thank you!
**Booda:** Right, guys, peace out.
**Mikayla:** Peace out.
