Ep.114 Lost and Found - Michael Foxx's Remarkable Comeback (Pt.1)

Ep.114: Lost and Found - Michael Foxx's Remarkable Comeback (Pt.1)

In this compelling episode of ARCast, host Booda sits down with long-time friend Michael Fox, who shares his transformative journey through addiction, anxiety, and depression. Michael opens up about his childhood experiences, moving from New York to Arizona, and his evolving relationship with his stepfather. He provides unfiltered insights into his battles with substance abuse, including interactions with the DEA and confronting his addiction to crystal meth. The discussion also touches on the psychological impact of social media and the importance of preserving childhood innocence. This episode highlights themes of resilience, mental health, and the power of familial support. Stay tuned for Part 2 as we continue to explore Michael's inspiring narrative of recovery and hope.

If you would like to join us on The ARCast, either live, in the studio, or online, be sure to click the link below and fill out the form. We'll be in contact with you and get you scheduled ASAP!
https://linktr.ee/americasrehabcampus

If you, or someone you know is in need of substance abuse treatment, please contact Americas Rehab Campus. We're available 24/7 and our phone number is 1-833-272-7342.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to ARCast with Booda
• 0:50 Introducing Michael Fox
• 2:27 Michael's Journey and Family Dynamics
• 11:40 Challenges in School and Early Life
• 17:40 Struggles with Anxiety and Depression
• 34:56 Navigating Dangerous Situations
• 41:12 A Nightly Routine Revealed
• 42:09 Family Dynamics and Personal Struggles
• 43:41 Reflecting on Childhood and Adolescence
• 44:26 Nostalgic Road Trip
• 45:33 Feelings of Abandonment and Anger
• 49:53 A Tribute to Stepfathers
• 53:30 Early Work Experiences
• 56:20 Dropping Out and Finding Direction
• 1:11:42 The Rise of Spice Addiction
• 1:14:18 DEA Interrogation and Meth Introduction

Transcript

Ep.114: Lost and Found - Michael Foxx's Remarkable Comeback (Pt.1)

Booda: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for tuning in to the ARCast. My name is Booda. And I'm here in the studio today with one of my homeboys. I'm going to introduce him here in a minute, but, you know, we've done a lot of different episodes, man.

We're in the hundreds right now, knocking it out. Amazing people have come through and shared their testimony. You know, the goal is to ultimately get some cameras in here. So you guys can feel like you're a part of the conversation with us. You know what I'm saying? And it's a huge blessing, man, that my brother was able to bring his equipment.

So thank you very much for that. We have a lot of, uh, A lot of background, man. We've been homies for a minute now. We spent some time on the road together back in the day. We're going to get into all of that. But ladies and gentlemen, before we get started, I want you to get up off your seats and give a huge round of applause to my homeboy, Michael Fox.

Michael: Thank you. 

Booda: Yeah. 

Michael: Thank 

you. Yeah. It's good to be here. Thanks for having me on the show. 

Booda: Heck yeah, man. So first of all, dude, it's been a long fucking time since we've hung out and kicked it. And thank you so much for making the trip down here, dawg. 

Michael: Yeah, 

yeah, it has been a while and I have been enjoying your podcast from home And had some of our other friends on and it just did really well So when the invitation was extended out, I was honored to be able to make it here.

Booda: Oh, yeah. Shout out to Daniel What up, Daniel Finney? I know you're out there listening, homie But uh, yeah man, I mean it's, it's, it's crazy bro. You know, we've been, we've been doing this for a couple years now. Shout out to the owner, Mike. Uh, when my brother walked in here, he was saying that this facility reminded him of a, uh, What was the word that you used?

You said it felt like a resort when you came in here. 

Michael: It 

looks like a resort. Yeah, it's beautiful. You have, uh, just planters and everything is just, it's very clean. And it just looks great here. This is a very welcoming environment. I would enjoy staying here myself. 

Booda: Heck yeah, man. For anybody interested, you know, wherever you at.

Remember, I mean, you guys are going through addictions or whatever it may be come through America's rehab campus here in Tucson, Arizona. That's where we're recording this podcast live right now. So, but yeah, man, thank you so much for making the trip down here, dude. I know we had a conversation. Um, a little bit ago and we were talking just about mental health and things like that.

And I mean, so many people are affected by it nowadays, bro. And, uh, I know, you know, you said that you've had a lot of stuff that you've struggled with, with addictions, depression, anxiety, all of those things, man. So, What made you want to come in here and share your testimony and your story with us today?

Michael: Um, yeah, I thought this would be a good opportunity for me to kind of share my perspective, uh, and shed some light on who I am and the things that I believe in and the hardships that I've been through. I think it's easy when we see people. Uh, individuals, especially like me, I'm very connected with my parents.

I live with my family. I'm 35 years old. We have a belief where the family stays together and contributes towards one another until you get married and move out, you know, and you're welcome to leave earlier if you like, but my involvement in my family is developing my, you know, brothers and sisters and helping my mom with whatever she has going on and same with my father.

You know, I just wanted to kind of get on here and honestly share some humility and some hardships. I've not had it easy. I struggle with mental health every day. It's always, it's going to be a constant thing that you have to work on. So yeah, when this just seems like a really good outlet for me to be able to, uh, kind of provide that light.

Booda: That's what's up, man. And you know, that's one of the hopes with this is being able, you never know who's going to be on the other end, listening to it. And it's crazy because going back to like, you know, when COVID started, right, we're so used to being out there around people and having that community and talking and opening up about things that we're experiencing.

Ever since COVID, man, I feel like the majority of people have kind of turned into a recluse, you know, kind of in their own head. And I know for me COVID was all Animal Crossing, Doom Eternal, and an air fryer, and just like Tiger King, and all this bullshit that was going on, you know, but it took a little bit of work to get back into the community, man, and that's what this is about, is whoever's listening on the other end, we don't know their story, we don't know anything about them, but we hope that, you know, if you guys are out there and you're paying attention, that his story is going to be able to help you, and maybe help many others out there, bro.

Michael: Oh, I love that. Yeah. Wow. I like how you said that. Thank you. 

Booda: Yeah. So I know you said that your family is really tight. You guys all, you know, kind of have this thought process of we all stick together. We all, you know, we all contribute to the family until one of us moves out. Right. Take us into your family dynamic a little bit, bro.

Like how was it growing up? You said you had, you still have your mom and your dad. They're still together. 

Michael: Yeah. So, uh, that it's a, it's my stepfather. . Um, but I call him my dad cause he's my mentor. And he guides me through, you know, hard situations and things like that. And it's an interesting dynamic because most of the time I'm a bit of the entertainer around the house.

And I do a lot of the bridging between, uh, just mitigating the energies. But, uh, you know, even in recent there's times where I can pull him aside and we can have those talks because, you know, I didn't have a strong mentor before him. He came into my life when I was about. 14 or 13 years old. So yeah, I mean we could take it back to where it all began where little Michael began.

Booda: Yeah, absolutely Uh, you know, I noticed that you said that you're this was your stepfather your biological dad. Was he ever in your life, bro? 

Michael: Uh, no, um, I, I mean, I, I suppose when I was very young, maybe just a baby, he was around. So my mom met my father in the Catholic church that they both played musical instruments in and, uh, he was in his twenties and she was 15 years old.

And so, you know, my mom having me at 16 years old and 

then the dynamic of, you know, he probably shouldn't have done that. My family is pretty strong and I think that my grandparents really kind of always threatened him in a way that made him uncomfortable and it just turned into where my mom just decided, you know what, I can do this on my own.

At 16 years old, you know, she's still finishing high school and working a job at the bank. And then, uh, I lived with my grandmother and my uncle, and this is in East Coast, so I'm back in New York State, which is where I was born and raised. 

Booda: Oh, okay. 

So, alright, so, I mean, your mom is obviously a very strong, strong woman, being able to go through that at such a young age.

At first, your stepfather was not there, right? It was just you and your mom? Do you have any other siblings or anything like that? 

Michael: I don't. Um, our family is, uh, pretty large. And, uh, even though it was just the four of us left in the house, cause my mom was the youngest of her brothers and sisters, so she was the last to be there.

We still had family gatherings, and my uncles and aunts would show up, and I had a lot of cousins, and we had like four acres, and it's all just green, and we had tree houses, and playground equipment, and Chicken coops and, uh, you know, and early in my life, my grandfather also lived with us and he was very into, uh, agriculture and just kind of sustainability.

He was a nuclear engineer and designed the switchboard for the first Trident submarine, the nuclear submarine that, that went out. Yeah. Pretty cool stuff. 

Booda: Wow. 

That's interesting. How was, how was your, uh, how was your grandfather's demeanor, dude? I'm so curious because I, I, I feel like people that are super intelligent like that.

They're just different people. Their personalities are just different. Was he like, what could he hold conversations? Was he awkward around people and stuff like that? 

Michael: Yeah, he was very awkward. Uh, he said very little. He just, um, which it created a, a dynamic where when he did speak, he had a lot of power, people listened and he had a lot of wisdom.

And, um, And, uh, you know, being in his position, he did, uh, catch the end of World War II. And then, um, he had a lot of friends in high places. He was a part of different societies that would gather and kind of come up with different strategies for political means and stuff like that. So kind of one of the pioneers of conspiracy theorists, I guess you could say.

Booda: That's cool, dude. That's really cool. And your family, you guys have always been real tight. So even though your father wasn't there, did you have positive male role models around you and stuff? 

Michael: I'm very blessed that I had my uncle because he was always there all the time. My uncle did not work. He had a disability.

And so he kind of made his life about me. You know, we had a certain time of the day that Batman, the cartoon came on and we'd watch Batman or, you know, Uh, you know, he would go and do, he'd smoke cigarettes. So that'd be a time to come outside and play. And he would watch me and he was really my best buddy growing up until we ended up kind of moving out this way.

Booda: Wow. All right. And what happened that you guys moved over here? 

Michael: So eventually. I must've been, you know, maybe four or five and I had kind of already had my foot in the entertainment industry at as early as three years old. I was doing solo performing and dabbling with acting and singing, dancing, stuff like that.

So at that point, my mom had met somebody where. They decided they were going to get married and, uh, he got a business opportunity out here. And so we kind of packed up and, and moved out this way. And it was interesting because that was a opportunity that came from my grandfather and my grandmother very early on.

He was going to be a trainer at Luke Air Force Base, which that will come back in our story later on. Um, he passed away when I was three. 

Booda: So 

this is this is the person that your mother married? 

Michael: No, my grandfather. 

Booda: Oh, okay. He was the one from Luke Air Force Base 

Michael: Yeah, that's he should have been at Luke So he was that he was a nuclear engineer And yeah So a lot of what I'm telling you about my family and stuff is a legacy that I'm just leaving behind because I've always made it A very important topic when I'm around different elders in my family to ask questions about where we came from And who we are.

I had an uncle or my great grandfather was on Broadway. That's where he met my grandmother. She was a dancer and he was the social light of the town. He'd hang out with all kinds of different people. He'd go and do his little thing at the horse bets and the dog races. And, uh, he was prestigious. He had a lot of clout for the time and he was the leader of our family for sure.

Booda: That's cool. So you had a lot of, not only intelligent people, but a lot of super creative and, and, uh, And people that were involved in the arts and things like that. So I'm guessing your mom was like always pushing you to get involved in different activities and stuff like that. And allowing that to flourish, which I think is really cool.

Cause I feel like a lot of people don't have that opportunity. You know what I mean? 

Michael: Yeah. Um, as early as I can remember, they would put on these Elvis videos and I think Viva Las Vegas was one of my favorite ones. And I would just sit in front of the TV and just mimic the Elvis stuff. And so they just knew right away to, to get me involved in music.

You know, my biological father and mom having both met in the Catholic church, which was a big part of my life early on. So yeah, it just, that was, uh, I think if my mom was here, she would say that was the way to get some of my energy out of me because I was a little hellion as a child. 

Booda: Were you altar server or anything like that?

Did you do like altar serving and all that stuff? Like catechism, all of that stuff to the Catholic church? 

Michael: Oh, oh no. Luckily I didn't get that involved into it. So I did do, I did do a Sunday school. So, you know, when they were doing what they were doing, once I got old enough, I'd go to Sunday school.

So I could just learn the responses because the Catholic church that I went to was Roman Catholic. 

Michael: So it's Latin mass. Nobody knew what was being said. You just wait until you hear the magic words, and then "AAAAMEEN". 

Booda: I feel you. As far as you growing up and like school and stuff, I also know that creative individuals sometimes don't do good necessarily in the basic school model of go to school, homework, you know, listening to your teacher.

You're a very creative person, dog. How are you as a student? Were you good at all? 

Michael: So it's interesting you mentioned that. So. Uh, if we kind of fast forward back to about the time my mom's getting married and I'm in school. Uh, right away when I was in kindergarten, the teachers took a special interest in me and I skipped first grade.

So I went from kindergarten to second grade. Um, so that was huge for me. And I think I really enjoyed being around the older kids. Even now in my adult life, all of my closest people are 15, 20 years older than me. So I really enjoyed that. We moved to Arizona from New York. My mom gets married. We filed a job opportunity out to Arizona.

And that marriage didn't last very long. And on top of Arizona does not accept that you can be in a grade ahead. So they held me back with no, with just to keep me in my age group. So now I'm doing second grade all over again, at the same time as this divorce begins with my mom. 

Booda: Okay. 

Michael: And, uh, Uh, that definitely, I had lost a lot of interest in what was going on because I just wasn't stimulated.

It was just too much of the same over and over again on top of, you know, what was going on at home, which I was very oblivious as a young child. I would say the memories I'm sharing today are probably most all of my memories because I never had anything very traumatic, thank God, happen to me in a young age where it sort of jogged my memory.

Booda: Yeah. 

Michael: So, 

Booda: well, let me ask you this. I mean, growing up. What was the knowledge behind your biological father? Like what was, did, were they pretty open about him or were they keeping them a secret type of a thing? 

Michael: Um, yeah, so it's definitely, it was an avoided topic for as long as it could be avoided, and then there gets to a point where I started seeking because why don't I have a dad, right?

Especially when the divorce happened, because initially I was very excited. This is going to be my dad. I have a dad now. And I was about six, seven years old. And, uh, so yeah, once I got to be seven, eight, nine, in that range, I started asking the questions, you know, who is my dad? You know, where is he? What happened?

What's the story? And essentially my mother just, uh, you know, to this day, I think she still has a lot of healing to do. And it, the story was just not a good story. He's not a good guy. He's a bad guy. He had problems with drugs. He got kicked out of the military because of it. And it's all hearsay. And, you know, I, I don't, I haven't had the opportunity today to even discuss in those details yet.

I have spoken to him and we can catch up on that later, but, um, growing up, it was definitely the avoided topic in the house for sure. 

Booda: And of course, naturally as a young boy. You know, everybody needs their father, right? So it's like, you finally have this gentleman who steps in, is willing to play that part, you're getting comfortable, and then all of a sudden, it's like the rug gets pulled from underneath you.

So, I'm sure like a lot of that is what was affecting exactly like, you know, your behaviors and stuff like that. Were you still doing good in school or were you starting to rebel a little bit? 

Michael: I think just being held back was more of the impact on me than the divorce. However, the schools know that Those types of situations in the home do affect kids in school.

And so I sort of began playing the school system a bit. They put me into a special education program, and this is where I kind of learned that, you know, maybe I could just go to school. Do really good on the testing and then not do any homework. And, and then, you know, my grades would suffer and year after year, we would have these big meetings and we'd come up with individual education plans.

And, and I would see emotional needs specialists at the school hired and they'd check in on you once a week and give you treats and little candies and things, if you're doing well. And then the end of every year I would fail the grade. So kind of moving forward now, fifth and sixth grade, they, they This is where they start sitting you down because you're about middle school and they're letting you know, Hey, if you fail, we're not going to just keep passing you like we have been.

And I mean, I just kept playing that, playing that until they landed me with a special education teacher in the school that he knew. That I was not learning disabled. He knew that I was gifted and he knew I was giving them the run for their money. And so he sat me down with everybody and he said, I've, I'm, I, you know, one of the best people in the district that do this, that's, you've got this kid backwards, needs to be in gifted education.

And so they ran all these different tests, IQ testing, stuff like that. And they were shocked by my results. They're Mensa level results. So the, at the time the education system was still governed. Uh, federally, so the person who was in charge of the gifted education coming up with the curriculum for the entire country.

happened to be flying in and while she came in, she sat down with me and she wanted to meet me. And then that was really interesting because she told me to just go join the other kids in gifted education. And nobody kind of walked me in there. I just went by my own and they're like, Oh no, sweetie, you don't, this isn't for you this.

Cause they all know I'm the, you know, the special needs kid. 

Booda: Yeah. 

Michael: And so it was interesting because she said, let me walk you in there. And they knew right away who she was. Oh, it's good to see you. What are you doing here? And this is your new guy. He's going to be in there with you. And so I just think that, um, I just kind of, yeah, I didn't do well in school because I just really, really played the system.

Booda: Yeah. And like you said, understimulated, you know what I mean? I'm sure it's just, you just have one of those minds. And. Let me ask you this, man, because I know you said when we talked on the phone that you had struggled with anxiety, right? You had struggled with depression, uh, a couple other things. Had these started around this time?

Had, were you, was it full blown anxiety and depression at this time? 

Michael: Yeah, uh, we weren't into full blown yet, but this was the beginning of where most of my childhood memories began, because I come from New York State, it's all rolling grass fields, and snow days, and just bliss, and now I come to Arizona, and the culture is completely different, you know, when you wait in line at a drinking fountain, kids will have these games, like, you know, 1, 2, 3, save some water for the fish, or whatever, no cutting in line.

Well, coming from the East Coast, the kids have an entirely different culture that they, that they have. There's different games, there's different systems. And so the combination of being both viewed as special needs and in that system and then not understanding, you know, the culture and being raised with people from the West Coast, that's where I, I just, I stopped fitting in with people.

I, I really didn't have many friends and, uh, I, uh, I had a lot of, uh, Um, I'm not, not an angry kid, but I, you know, just sadness, I guess. I was just sad because, you know, I would do anything I could to stick up for another kid, you know, that was getting picked on or teased or whatever. 

Booda: And like you said, I mean, and not even, I didn't even put that into consideration.

The fact that you guys had to move down here from everything that you were comfortable with, you said this was like around, uh, about like eight, nine years old, right? When you moved down here. 

Michael: Yes, sir. 

Booda: So, I mean, that whole time you had your uncle, you had family out there, your grandfather, all of these things.

And now you're here in a completely remote place. And you know, what's very interesting about that dude is a lot of the stories that we've had. Especially with military people, uh, a lot of their struggle, and this is the analogy that I always bring up because I feel like this, I just brought it up earlier today.

You know, they say like when you get a plant out of a soil, and you stimulate the roots and you put it in a new plant, chances are it'll do okay, but for the most part, the plant gets weathered, and sometimes the plant gets unhealthy, things will, you know, will affect it because it needs to be in a nurturing type of soil.

If you're constantly re potting a plant, it's not gonna survive. And I think It's very interesting to me how we are as human beings, like we need to be rooted into our family, into that structure. And being so young, your brain hasn't even developed yet. You know, you're learning all of these new experiences.

It's like literally waking up into a whole different world. 

Michael: Yeah, absolutely. That was absolutely what it was like, especially going from somewhere that you get snow to somewhere that you don't have any snow, you know, and grass. And then now hot. Absolutely hot. Yeah. And you, you kind of picture it as rolling sand dunes, the Sahara desert.

You got no idea what it really is. 

Booda: Aladdin is your only fucking reference and shit. The Haboobs. Dude, I didn't even realize those existed until, uh, when we had gotten back from the, uh, I think it was the Independence Day tour or whatever, being, uh, we flew into Phoenix, Sky Harbor, and we don't have Haboobs here in Tucson.

I've never seen one here at least, but in Phoenix, you guys have them. And that shit was terrifying, dude. I thought God was coming back. Those are freaky man, so I understand completely and you guys moved to Phoenix, right? 

Michael: Yeah, we moved to Phoenix Yeah, and anybody listening that's not familiar with the storm we're talking about.

It's it looks like a wall of dirt And there's lightning in front of it and it is and it's and it moves Very very fast and once you're inside of this cloud of dirt You're advised just to pull over and pretty much wait it out because it's so dangerous. You can't see in front of you There's stuff flying everywhere, you know rolling tumbleweeds 

Booda: Yeah, you got to turn your air off too.

That was a mistake We made because we thought air conditioning one these nope that shit was coming through the vents in the car was scary, dude All right, so you guys move down here as far as the schooling and stuff goes. Did you? End up graduating? Did you get your 

diploma? 

Michael: No, I did not. Um, I stayed very true to the arts.

When, when we came out here, my mom immediately replanted me in, uh, dancing. I did tap, jazz, ballet, and hip hop. And this is where commercial opportunities started happening. This is where I started meeting representatives from Nickelodeon, from Paramount Pictures, from NBC. From, uh, Disney, from all of these networks where they're scouting and looking for kids.

And, uh, I think that I, yeah, so. 

Booda: Yeah, the documentary, but you know what I'm talking about. That shit is weird, bro. 

Michael: Yeah. Luckily I, even as an adult right here now, I can say that I've never had any kind of, um, that experience, but it could be a lot to do with my gift of discernment. I definitely know when.

I'm in bad company and how to politely excuse myself and, uh, and yeah, so as far as school went, I just, I had it in my mind that I was going to be a rock star and I didn't need school because I'm, this is, I'm on a different path and I have been since I was born and, and yeah, so 

no. 

Booda: This is my A, my B and my C, bro.

Michael: Yeah, 

Booda: absolutely. No, I get that completely. Man, and it sucks too because like, I don't know if you, I try not to live with regret, dude, at all. I try not to live with regret at all, but I remember teachers, because for me, I got help back too, right? So I remember teachers trying to invest into me. I remember teachers trying to give me game and tell me how I should be or whatever, and it's like you grow up, and you look at it now, and you're like, fuck, dude.

Like, you realize how important it was, and how you should have taken this shit seriously. But I mean, it is just one of those things, dude. Like when you're growing up, it's like, nobody can tell you shit, especially when you're a hardhead. You know what I mean? 

Michael: Yeah, absolutely. You know, it's something that I think of all the time, you know, obviously not having a high school diploma or a, you know, a college degree.

was very challenging for me. And I know that it's challenging for a lot of people out there. And the thing that echoes back in my head is when the teacher said, it's our job to prepare you for college so that you can get a degree and survive in this world. I mean, every single year, teachers made it very, very clear that if you do not have a skill, You are going to struggle.

And I think now people just kind of combat that with, well, I need, my boss needs to pay me more of a boss, you know, middle of its range, minimum wage, which then brings on inflation. 

Yeah. And 

here 

we 

are. 

Booda: Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, through, through this time with all of these different sponsorships, I don't know if that's the right word from, but all these different executives that you were meeting from all of these.

Different companies was there ever anything promising that that was in the works where you were like damn, bro This shit's about to happen homie like next year's my year 

Michael: Absolutely every actually every single time that I met with somebody they wanted me and because I was raised my mom stayed single Really from that divorce all the way up until stepdad.

So on a single mom budget You know, it's, it's hard because you don't, they're not willing to give you your paycheck upfront. You have to be able to fly out to Miami beach model showcase on your own accord, pay for your own hotel, take the time off work for my mom. And then, you know, after you do the job, whatever their payment is, whether it be 60 days, 30 days, 90 days, I think is the max, then that's when you'd get paid.

And so it just, it was never in the cards. And I know since some of these documentaries, documentaries have come out. You know, my mom and me have talked because I think it sort of alleviated a lot of her guilt. She did tell me, you know, I wish I would have just one time taken you. I wish that I would have, I could have just, you know, did figured out a way.

And then, you know, as of late, my mom was like, maybe that's why it never happened. Yeah, 

Booda: no shit. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's, that was a huge thing for me, man. I mean, it's a, Everything going on. I mean, I don't know when this episode is going to drop, but you got, um, I've been thinking about my whole childhood, right?

As like, as a hip hop person, Biggie, and then all of a sudden I used to think Puff and Big were like this, and all this cool shit, and Puffy's as cool as dude, and all of these accusations and shit since, since Cat Williams came out with his interview with the Shea Shea Club, it's just been tripping me out, and then this whole thing with Quiet on set.

It's like, you never know what the hell is real anymore and what's not. But one thing is for sure, anything involved in the music industry or the TV or entertainment industry, at least from my perspective, I feel like there's a lot of corruption and evil in it, bro. 

Michael: Yeah, there is particularly in America.

Um, there's definitely, uh, these people believe pretty heavily in some interesting spiritual practices and, uh, and, um, Yeah, the selling your soul thing is absolutely true. And I think that, uh, after a while they realized that it wasn't even a very good deal, you know, but in the, in the case of the children, the children are just indoctrinated into this.

And, uh, and then they have to, you know, be victims and then their, you know, reward is, well, we're going to work you up, we'll make you a celebrity and then you'll be the one at the top and then you can have a victim, you know? So it's this weird thing because if you don't know what the world is and you just think this is the world, you don't know what's right and wrong.

Um, to touch on me realizing that for myself, when I was about 13 years old was when I first had my first love. And from 8th grade throughout all high school, we were, we were together the whole time. And um, one of the things that was strange was that, you know, this is a girl I lost my virginity to, and you know, I lost it the summer of 8th grade.

It was a very young age, I think. And, um, for, for my family, you know, especially with my mom, you know, having me at 15, you think I would wait until at least after that, but I, you know, it was a beautiful thing. We, we, it was a very beautiful relationship and we had good times, but unfortunately her. Mother was a weirdo and she would do things like pick us up and have us sit in the backseat and make out, and she would, she would turn the lights on in the car and put her, turn her rear view mirror and watch us, or she would.

Um, you know, provide us, yeah, and at the time, and that's what's interesting about it because I did not think any, we thought it was a little odd, but we just didn't know any better. You know, we had the impression, I guess, that she's, um, just supervising our safety or something, you know? 

Booda: That's crazy, bro.

Michael: Yeah, she, it, you know, and it, it goes on and on, you know, she would, once we were having intercourse. Then she would have us, well, why don't you guys go into the pool, you know, cause her father was never around this girl that I loved. So it was just her and her mom that lived together and that she kind of had the house that everybody could go and party and have fun at and stuff like that.

Booda: Cool 

parents. I hate those fucking parents, dude. 

Michael: Yeah, it was weird. It was a, it was a very weird thing, you know, and I remember one of the times me and this girl had a short break, you know, we would have our breaks and she would, uh, you know, explore other routes and I just was stuck on, I just, I was stuck on it.

I knew if I waited around, it'd be a matter of time, that guy would be gone and she would come back. And so one of the times that she had went and kind of just wanted to explore off to a friend. The mom started walking around. I was hanging out at the house waiting to speak with my, my, you know, ex girlfriend now.

And the mom started walking around in lingerie and wearing perfume. And it was very, it was like nightgown lingerie. And it was very peculiar and talking to me a lot and serving me a lot. And this is all in one night. And she invites me into her bedroom to sit on the edge of her bed to talk to her in her room.

And then eventually pulls me on top of her. And, uh You know, I just, I, I said to her, this is, I don't want this. I don't know what this is. You know, I was very oblivious and, and, and people will tell you, even to this day, I'm still super oblivious to, uh, the signs of females, because I feel like I want someone who's like very eagerly in love with me.

Someone who's just that passionate moment where it's just uncontrollable. That's kind of what like my thing is. So yeah, I mean it, it was a weird thing and I, it wasn't until I got older that I looked back on it and I was like, man, her mom, her mom ended up pulling a gun on me later that night because I wouldn't sleep with her.

And I knew that she was sleeping with another one of the people in our circle that was just barely of age if he was. And so, yeah, so just relating back to what we were talking about with the industry, if, if that is what you think life is, then you really don't know. You feel the discernment, but you just kind of, it's just like going to the dentist for the first time.

Well, this will be awkward, but you'll get over it. 

Booda: Yeah. Oh man. I mean, that's a lot to unpack. Just that little bit that you went through. I mean, I think as a parent, I've had friends in my life that had parents that were the cool parents, right? You guys can come through and smoke weed here at the house, right?

And then, uh, and then my homeboy, next time I see him, he's doing coke. And then the next time I see him, he's trying heroin, but it's cool because he's home and he's safe. Lord forbid he goes and uses heroin out in the streets, but he could do it here at home type of shit. And I've never understood that, like, as a parent.

And, and I don't even think it's a matter of, You not having the right supervision or the right people around you, right? Cause I always feel like even as a kid, I always knew what was right and wrong. I knew that I shouldn't steal from my friend. I would still do it, but I knew that I shouldn't have done it.

You know what I'm saying? So it's like, it's weird to me to think that parents, would be willing to do anything like that that could put their kids in jeopardy, especially when it's, it's the parent's job to, Hey, I know you're in love with this young man. I know you care about him. That's great. You guys are more than welcome to love each other, but you guys ain't doing this shit in my house.

You ain't doing this, that mirror view mirror. I'm watching your ass just to make sure you don't overstep those boundaries. You know what I'm saying? It's just, it's interesting to me. And maybe it's just those generational curses, bro. I mean, we don't know. What happened with her mom and but you could all almost assume that there was some sort of a trauma and abuse there too That would cause her to do that in the first place.

Michael: Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty likely I think that she was super lonely because the the husband was Worker and traveled 24 7 and provided for them very well. They, you know, had everything that they needed taken care of. And, um, I just think, yeah, she was lonely and, um, you know, and I ended up becoming best friends with this girl's brother.

And, uh, I do think that it's that. There might be a generational curse because it, from what I, we kind of gather, you know, we were trying to find her for a while. He came to me one day saying, where's my sister? And I'm like, I don't know, man. It's been, it's been like four years or something, you know, he's like, don't mess with me.

I know, you know, Mike. And I said, I'm like, I, I should know, but I don't. And so once we did find her and kind of, you know, move her in with brother, there was, Some, there was substance abuse and, um, a lot of other mental, uh, conditions that she needed to work through. And God bless her if she is listening to this today, my love to you.

And I wish you well in your journey. 

Booda: Yeah, man. No, absolutely. And I mean, it's interesting too, to hear you say, you know, like being oblivious to certain signs and signals when naturally as a young man, like your intentions should be pure, your intentions shouldn't be corrupted or, you know, um, Adulterated in that sense where you're thinking these foul things.

You're just a young Boy, and it's like, there's always, we were talking about this earlier. We were listening, you were listening, uh, we were editing an episode a little bit earlier. And we were talking about the, when my homeboy, he had gotten, given somebody a ride and they had given him heroin as like a tip, right?

Instead of them giving him money, gave him heroin. He's like, what is this? He's like, Oh, here, try it. I feel like there's always this ugly, there's, there's a good energy and there's a, and there's a bad, ugly energy. And it's crazy how. How people can get manipulated by those evil energies and those forces, bro.

That's I feel like that's you were a victim of that of some demonic person or some ugly person that's going through this, you know what I'm saying? Does that make sense? What I'm trying to say? 

Michael: Clearly. Yeah. 

Booda: You know what I mean? That's scary to me. 

Michael: Yeah. You definitely have to, um, you know, uh, Be wise with what, who you're surrounding yourself in.

You know, I think we make this, We're, we're, we're all, we all really deeply want to have human connection. There's nobody in the world that doesn't want love, shelter, food. We all share these common interests. And so sometimes we will justify the crowds that we are hanging out with. I love this person. I don't like this particular thing that they do, but I don't do that.

And, you know, I'm going to be around this person, but the darkness definitely preys on that. And it only is a matter of time because it is in your environment before it will happen. You are going to have a challenging moment, for sure. 

Booda: Amen. And during this time, dude, had you dabbled in any substances?

Anything like that? 

Michael: So I was still a Hellion in, in, uh, my home and, uh, and I was very rebellious and, uh, I didn't do, I was never violent. or anything, but I had a smart mouth on me. And so I think there was a lot of these just verbal altercations and things that would happen in the house. And my kind of running excuse why I could do bad in school or I could say what I want is, well, at least I don't do drugs.

At least I don't smoke pot. At least I don't do this. So it only lasted so long when I was When I explored with moving out for the first time, um, so I just got through high school, which I did not complete. Um, I, that's when I started smoking marijuana. And, uh, . The devil's lettuce. And, um, that, that's kind of the beginning of some dark roads for me.

I was definitely in the wrong place. I lived in South Phoenix as, um, you know, I'm, I'm like a white dude. And so I had,

Booda: I didn't even notice. 

Michael: I guess we have video this time, but, um, I, I, I was very preppy white at the time. And I, uh, had a car and a vehicle and I'm around. People that are, um, probably cartel and living with, uh, Just meth dealers and, uh, cocaine users.

And I just did my weed and I was kind of known as the squeaky clean guy in the wrong place. You know, one of the first times that I was held at gunpoint was because an individual in the circle wanted to use my car to do whatever they were going to go do. And, uh, so I waited in their car, which was broken, which is why they borrowed mine.

I drove to there. And as I'm waiting in this car in South Phoenix, middle of the night, I start hearing gunshots. And I look and the guy is not far away and he's staring right at me in the car and he walks to the car and he opens the car door and he sits down next to me and he's holding the gun across the lap and he said, what are you doing here?

I don't know you. And he's on amphetamines. He was smoking amphetamines in front of me throughout this encounter. And he held me at gunpoint for about an hour and a half. Thank, thank, thankfully for my friend, you know, he was an hour late to borrow in my car and coming back. So this experience was pleasant and, um, yeah, it was my first time, uh, where I needed to use my brain to, to, to negotiate a very difficult, situation.

You know, I think it's easy, especially in Arizona, most of us open carry. We have these ideas of if I'm in a gun situation, here's how I draw quickly. Here's how I fire quickly. I need to practice my aiming and my sight, but it's honestly best to edify your brain first and to come up with ways of befriending people and ways to manipulate the situation.

To where you can get yourself to the safest place possible with the power of your brain 

and 

prayer. 

Booda: You're 100 percent on that, man. It's, uh, there's, there's always going to be that rare situation Where you're going to need to pull something out, a super, super rare situation. And I do believe to a certain point that I would rather be prepared and not need it than need it and not be prepared type of a thing.

But at the same time, man, I mean, there has never been in the 36 years that I've been here on this planet, there's never been a situation that has occurred and happened to me that I haven't been able. To like meditate on, pray about it, and work my way out of it without having any issues at all. 

Michael: Yeah, amen.

Booda: You know what I'm saying? Like, a lot of people got to give themselves a little bit more credit, and that's good that you think that way, because I mean, there's so much violence out here. There's so much bullshit, and then you're dealing with somebody who's high on methamphetamine, dude, and you're trying to talk them down, probably in a drug induced psychosis, second away from getting your life taken from you.

Michael: Yeah, it could have definitely been a very ugly situation. I think, um, the strategy that I employed in this moment was to idolize them. To ask them, you know, oh wow, that's a nice gun, you know, how do you forward something like that? And then it turned into, a conversation about how this guy is a closer at his job and he makes X amount of dollars.

And so I just inflated this ego a lot. Oh my God, you know, I don't have anything like that. And you're, you're doing great. Like, can you tell me more? So, you know, it got to a point about halfway through the conversation where the, the gun went from being pointed at me to sitting down on, on, uh, on his lap and, and he wasn't holding it anymore.

But, uh, and we were just talking for a while. I think he figured out I was definitely, uh, in the wrong place for sure. It's definitely not where I parked my car. 

Booda: That's crazy, dude. So how old were you around this time? 

Michael: Oh, I was like 18. 

Booda: 18. So like living, were you living 

in that, in South Phoenix? 

Michael: Yeah, I lived in Tolleson where at, uh, there's a curfew and funny story.

The first time that I was out walking around and the curfew happened. That during curfew, they play an air raid siren, just like a nuclear bomb is going off. 

Booda: Oh shit, really? 

Michael: Yeah, I lived in it. It was a bad part of this. 

Booda: Is that still in place? 

Michael: Oh yeah, it's, this is, this is where a lot of the amphetamines are brought in by the truckers.

It's right by a very prominent truck stop in Arizona on, uh, on, uh, near 99th Avenue and, uh, uh, maybe McDowell or something a little south of McDowell, something like that. Yeah, 98th, 99th. So, um 

Booda: But is it, is it, sorry to interrupt you, but is it statewide, the siren, or is there only It's not just for a certain part of Phoenix.

Michael: It's just for this little, maybe two mile stretch of just shops on each side. 

Booda: That's 

crazy, I never heard of that. 

Michael: Yeah. Well, so when the siren went, I never heard of it either. And I go running, uh, back to my neighbors and I go knocking on their door and I go and I'm panicking and I tell the guy, I'm, There's an air raid siren, like we need to, where's a bomb shelter?

What do we do? And he goes, Oh my God, stay right here and closed the door a little bit and comes back out. Now he has his wife and he goes, tell her what you just told me. And I repeat it. And that's her reaction as well. She just breaks down laughing. What do you know that I dont know? She said it happens every night around 10 o'clock here. You're not allowed to walk on the streets past 10 o'clock or it's permission for a stop.

Booda: You can drive? 

Michael: You can drive, but if you're, see, not that many people had cars. That was sort of the benefit to the people in my, that, you know, I lived with, was that this is like the guy, he's got a clean record, he has a clean license, he's got a car, it's a white clean car, it's newer. It wasn't new new, but it was like, you know, maybe like a ten thousand dollar six year old car, something like that, you know what I mean?

And so, um, Yeah, it was. I was in the wrong place. 

Booda: That and what about like your, your mom at the time, man? Was she aware that you were going through these changes when these were happening to you? Or was she just so busy with working that she couldn't really pay attention? 

Michael: So this is around the time that my brother and sister were born, and my parents tried very hard to have my brother and sister.

They ended up having them by, you know, in vitro, where the doctors do like the eggs and stuff like that. So they were very tied up with my brother and sister. And I think that was a lot of the reason why I, left, even though I did not have to because, um, I felt like I still wanted parenting. I felt like I didn't finish high school.

I didn't know where to go. I didn't know what was going to be my direction. And then now there's these new kids that are coming into the life and that takes all of their attention. And I just wanted to just launch myself into the world from there. So my mom, I think started to figure it out because I would visit and, um, she could tell I was a smoking pot for sure.

And there, you know, there was a difference in my attitude. I was much, More agreeable, which was suspicious. And, uh, and so, yeah, I think she was starting to figure it out, but my mom is a very tough lady. She, she's not mean, but she is very tough because, you know, in a way, her and me figured out the whole world together.

So as she's figuring out at some point. 19. How does an adult do this with a kid? How did, you know, how does this, I, I was, we were best friends. My mom was my best friend for sure. And everything I was along there with her, she would tell me, this is how the streets work in Arizona. It's numbers that go up this way and it's streets that go this way.

And, uh, which by the way, Arizona streets were invented by Thomas Jefferson. So that's who came up with the street system, even though he was alive. Yeah. He wasn't alive when they made it, but the street system, the grid system was invented by Thomas Jefferson, which I'm sure that's probably why we have Jefferson, Washington.

Booda: Yeah, yeah, it's a lot more in the East Coast though, right? Like the, the grid system, like it's pretty much, you know, exactly where somebody's at. 

Michael: Yeah, especially in New York City. Um, upstate, it gets windy and very confusing. And, you know, we visited on tour, Not that long ago. And it was crazy that I had this memory of where we were and where, where we were going.

We drove right through my hometown in Albany, and that was a pleasure for me to be able to show some of the guys, the big, the big egg and the empire building or the state building, not the empire state, but the state building. 

Booda: Oh, when you went on the road? 

Michael: Yeah. Yeah. 

Booda: That's cool. 

Michael: Yeah. Which we can, I'm sure we'll get into that.

Booda: Oh 

yeah. Yeah, for sure. But that's cool. I didn't, I didn't realize that that was a, A moment for you to be able to kind of reminisce and reflect. 

Michael: Yeah. And when I, when I lived in New York, I really didn't leave a five mile radius for many years. Uh, maybe to go visit my aunts. If I went to go to their house, and one of my aunts lived in Altamont, I had another one kind of closer to the city.

But, um, we drove right down the main road that I, that was the main strip for the grocery stores. I saw everything. We ended up eating at a, we stopped at a Burger King. That was the Burger King. That was the only Burger King I knew of growing up. So it was just, and it was, I, it was totally on accident. I wasn't even the driver.

I just woke up and I'm like. I know this. 

Booda: That's crazy. That's cool, man. I wish I could 

have experienced that with you guys. That's really cool. And then so just, just asking and curious, you know, we don't, you don't have to go into too much detail, but I am curious about this, you know, subconsciously without realizing it or not, did you feel a sense of almost like abandonment when stepdad had children?

Did it make you feel like you were kind of out of the circle per se? 

Michael: Yeah, absolutely. And, um, and the way that you approached this by asking that question, thank you so much for being considerate and for everyone at home. I, my intention of being here is to share as much humility and truth as possible. I think people that know me in real life experience a lot of emotions from me, um, positive emotions and emotions of healing, because I don't really have the filters.

I don't have the barricades. So by all means, anything that. That, that comes up, um, please feel free to ask. Yeah, no, I, I definitely, I, that I did have some anger with and I took it out on my, uh, stepfather pretty much for the most part. And, um, we, I created some scars that, you know, him and me heal regularly.

Uh, even to, even just last night, we were the only two people in the house and I, uh, came out and told him how much I believe in him. And, uh, and how much I love him. And, you know, we hash out even still to this day, some of the things from our past, because I think, um, after the, the first stepdad left that we moved to Arizona over, his name's Bill, by the way, he's not a great guy.

He, he abused me physically and stuff. The, the day that he left, we pulled into the house. So I'm like, you know, eight or nine or something like that. And all of his stuff was gone from the garage. And the first thing that I said was, yay, Bill's gone. And my mom said, Bill's not gone. He's not gone. And we went into the house and the silverware is missing.

Different furniture items are missing and he was really gone. And it's like, man, I know that that really hurt. My mom in that moment when I took that I was so excited. I was just an oblivious little kid That was just so thrilled but you know, my mom did not have means to pay for we had a big big house We had a very he was he had a successful job And I think it went to his ego and he decided they needed a side girlfriend as well But my mom is a like a criminal investigator So she followed the paper trail and kind of figured it all out And and yeah, so after he left I made it my mission to, as most kids do, we're going to protect mom.

We're going to, you know, and I made it very challenging for the people that she did try to date. And that could be a lot of the reason why she just didn't date until, you know, meeting my stepfather when I was about 13 or 14, both the same thing happened. My stepfather comes into my life. I meet the love of my life.

I'm going into high school. I'm, uh, uh, gothic at this time. I changed my style like every year in high school. 

Booda: Junko? 

Did you have 

Junko jeans, dude? 

Michael: I did. I loved the Junko jeans. 

Booda: Yeah, my dude. My dude, bro. I had, I had my goth shit too. I never got the Junko jeans. I had big ass baggy ones, but yeah, I used to wear the little bracelets and the fucking, the little black leather with the little spikes on it and the system of down shirts and all that shit.

That was a good time, man. 

Michael: It was a good time. Uh, you know, for anyone listening at home that is younger, Hot Topic didn't actually used to be the type of store that it is today. Hot Topic used to be very punk, very gothic. We would call it goth in the box. 

Booda: It was actually 

a good store back in the day. 

Michael: It was pretty cool.

Yeah, it was cool. So that's where we would shop to get the studded, uh, you know, bracelets and the band shirts and all that said body jewelry. I think Spencer's is more like hot topic today than hot topic is now hot topic is kind of teeny bopper, but 

Booda: yeah, it is nothing but shirts and stuff. And my mom would never let me go to the corner of the store.

Michael: Oh yeah. Spencer's, which I ended up becoming a store manager of a Spencer's later on. 

Booda: So, you know, the fucking 

corner of the store. 

Michael: I know the corner of the store. 

Booda: So, alright, so you went through this goth phase, I always think of that stupid meme on Instagram that, because tonight will be the night. Have you seen that shit?

Michael: Yeah, yeah. 

Booda: Uh, you know, and, and, uh, so you're doing the natural shit that teenagers do. You're rebelling, you're, you're trying to find your way in this world, bro. You're trying to fucking find your way in this world. But it seems like your stepdad and you, you know, ultimately, he, he, the new, the stepdad that your mom is with now, that he's a good guy, that you and him have a good relationship and stuff, which is, which is good.

Michael: Yeah, he is, I could never, ever be, um, I don't know how he has the patience that he has. I don't know how he has. The heart that he does because he, there's just, he is just so incredibly patient and loving and it is unconditional. Um, the love that he has for our family and you know, the way that he treats everybody in the house is just so fair.

He is just so fair and so good to everybody. And he really. Coming into my family really put every bit of his life that he had as a young man, you know, at the time, a young, you know, a young adult at the time, he really just put it all away for, for me and my mom. He really did. He, he wanted to be with my mom so much.

He loved her so much and he was just so thrilled to join our adventure. And, uh, Dad, if you're listening right now, thank you so much. I love you so much, sir. 

Booda: Shout 

out to you, brother. I apologize, man. I had, I had Kleenex right here. I don't know where the 

Michael: It's going to happen 

a lot. 

It's going to happen a lot.

Booda: Hold on guys. Brief, a brief intermission really quick. Let's see. Here you go, dog. I got some toilet paper at least. 

Michael: Thank you. 

Booda: Yeah, man. I, I, I appreciate it, man. And thank you so much for being, thank you so much for being so transparent. Dude, it's a huge blessing. You know, uh, I consider you a friend and it's, it's weird though.

Cause even You don't really make that connection until you get to the woods, until you get to the deep shit, you know what I'm saying? You get to really know what a person is, who a person is and the things that they've been through. So thank you bro for feeling comfortable enough to, you know, share and open up and stuff with, with, with me and, and the everyone else that's listening and watching right now, you know, and shout out to your stepdad too, man.

So it's a beautiful thing. And for somebody just like my dad, bro, for somebody to come in To that position, and to not only love your mom, who had been treated a certain way, you know, by people who didn't deserve her. Right? And to finally come in and have this gentleman that steps in and not only loves your mom unconditionally, but loves you, too, at the same time.

That's a blessing, man. That's a good person right there. And there ain't a lot of that. 

Michael: I did not make it easy, that's for sure. I did not make it. I, just to protect my own heart, I I, uh, I would just shut the guys out, shut the guys out. You know, my mom had a boyfriend even, even before, uh, she got her first marriage, she had a boyfriend that would torture me by, um, playing the sound of a heartbeat very, very loud in the car.

So when I was acting up, they would, they would play this sound of a heartbeat. And, uh, some audio things can be very painful emotionally to me. And so that was just, he would torture me. And yeah, I remember one time we were out at a restaurant, we were at a place called Friendly's and it only exists in the East Coast.

It's very good ice cream. If you could ever find Friendly's ice cream, check it out. It's very good. And, uh, I was just misbehaving and he was telling me, sit down. You need to sit down. He was trying to step in and be that father figure. And I just said, you're not my dad. You can't tell me what to do. And that was, uh, probably one of the last times, as far as my memory goes, that I ever seen that guy.

So I, I was, I definitely made. A lot of challenges for my mom, myself, and anybody else to come 

in. So, yeah. 

Booda: And you know, going back to your testimony, dude, around this age, 17, 18, were you working or anything? Did you, were you able to hold a steady job? How was your work ethic? 

Michael: So, alright, um, 

Booda: especially with your mom, you say she's criminal 

justice? 

Michael: Uh, she, I, I use that example because she should be, she should be a criminal investigator. We, all of my strength come, in my mind, comes from my mother and anybody that's been through hardships with me or intentionally tried to put me through hell, Knows that I am one tough son of a bitch and I get that a hundred percent from my mom because my mom can be rootless and if she has her mindset on something there is no Possible excuse that you will be capable of coming up with or that she can come up with that's gonna stop it You know or for me as a kid when I'm supposed to do something.

There's there is no excuse. It's execution get it done 

Booda: That's awesome. That reminds me of my mom, bro. Women are so special, dude. Especially like, when you sit and think not to get too much into, you know, my feelings and stuff, but listening to you say that. Having a mom that's so strong like that and willing to deal, step in, not only be the mom, but to be the dad at the same time and to just have, you know, just being a good person.

Like, it's the best feeling in the world, man. Shout out to your mom and shout out to my mom too, if you're listening. 

Michael: Shout 

out to our moms, amen, for listening. 

Booda: So yeah, continue with the work and stuff, dude. I'm curious to know how your work ethic was. 

Michael: So, um, yeah, when I was 16 years old, I got a job at Sonic as a cook.

Booda: Fuck yeah, that was my first job too, bro. 

Michael: Really? 

Booda: Yeah, for sure. Hell yeah. 

Michael: So we're really connecting. 

Booda: Yeah, there you go. 

Michael: So, um, so yeah, I loved work. I just loved work and I, and I have always been a bit of a work of a workaholic. And I think that you have seen a bit of, uh, how much I get a kick out of just, um, serving people.

I really love serving people and, and making an impact in the smallest of ways, you know, changing their perspective with a good meal or whatever. So yeah, I was a cook at Sonic and. Although I loved work, I'm still a young adult that was, I had really not great communication skills between sort of moving here and then being kind of bullied or whatever and, and then growing up and then being a smart mouth and, you know, the potential of maybe other mental disabilities.

It's like, um, there was always eventually some kind of a conflict that would happen with me and a boss, and I would just be a smart aleck. And get the can. Uh, so I would just move to the next Sonic who needed to cook. And I just hopped and I hopped different Sonics. So it's interesting you asked this because I think that my work ethic actually is responsible for partially why I dropped out of high school.

So at, uh, 17, so I quit high school at 17 years old. And, uh, there's two different reasons why. One reason is because this was the end of my high school sweetheart relationship, and I was finally, it finally crushed me. I couldn't bear Waiting anymore. I couldn't bear the, um, thought of her with other people.

And then I had classes with other, with these other people and then rumors would come out. And so I was like, just totally checked out at school. And I was going to a, uh, accelerated school at the time where I was like one of the, I was on student council. This was a big change. I was on student council. I was a part of.

Um, different special programs where I work directly with the principal. They even let me teach a music class one day a week at the school. I would come in and I would have different, uh, lessons on how to fix things, how to, you know, to do, you know, different stuff, how music theory works and stuff. And so, yeah, when they saw that this spiral out was happening with the relationship on top of, I got a very good job.

So, uh, we talked a little bit about my grandfather and how technology And, uh, electric stuff runs deep in my roots. And so a friend of mine got me working at his dad's company. And this is 2003, 2004 time period, 2005, maybe. So. Uh, the LoJack and tracking devices on cars was just coming out. You remember OnStar?

Booda: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 

Michael: So that 

was, uh, you know, we didn't have the, our cell phones and all these kinds of things in the means that they, you know, the capacity that they are today. And so I got a job driving to people's houses that purchased very expensive Mercedes, BMWs. Uh, luxury vehicles that needed the dealer to outfit them with a better package, like a OnStar package or a stolen chip.

And so I modified my vehicle, I put a printer, I had a printer in my, I had a computer in my car. Yeah. And this is a computer, you know, we're talking with the tower and the monitor is this big. So I took out the passenger seat and I put the monitor in there. And 

Booda: you a fan of pimp my ride, bro. You had that West coast custom shit.

Michael: So that, that we can touch base on that. Some of the cast of pimp my ride makes a, an impact on my life and my story. 

Booda: That's so funny, dude. 

Michael: I did love Pimp My Ride. Yeah, I did. So, um, that's so funny you say that. Alright, we're gonna talk about that guy. So 

Booda: It just made me laugh, like, hearing that whole shit, even with the OnStar.

Cause I remember being in family's vehicles who had the OnStar, and that fucking button was there, but no one could afford the package for the OnStar. So that button was just a decoration, bro. It was just there in case you wanted a fucking present. 

Michael: Yeah, I love that. It's so funny. And then the people who could afford it, when you would go for a first ride and they'd always be like, yo, why don't I drive you?

Right. And I'm just a kid. So I'm, this is the parents talking. Why don't we give you a ride ride with us? We have the van. And then they get in the van. They'd be like, Oh man, I wonder where we should get food. Let's find out. And they push the on star button and then the on star lady, it was like an operator.

You'd push the button. And then this lady's voice would appear in the car and now you're talking, having a live conversation with them because the car had cellular capabilities. So they would help. They would tell you anything you wanted. It was basically like the first Siri, honestly. 

Booda: Yeah, it was. 

That's crazy.

It's funny that you put it that way. That's exactly what it was, but better because it was a fucking human being. For reals, man. 

Michael: Yeah, 

right. Yeah. So, so I just loved the job. You know, I, I fell in love with this, Being around the cool cars, and I think they paid me something like 20 for every car I did, which at the time, having no bills, oh yeah, I thought I was a baller.

I went from making, um, like 9 an hour, which was actually better because I think the carhops and stuff made only like 4 an hour. Um, if you're working on waiters wages, you don't even have to be paid the, you know, state or federal minimum. I can't remember how it worked because there's a lot of things that changed in government between the time that I was a kid to where we are now.

Um, but yeah, so I just loved it. I felt like the coolest person in the world. People would get in my car, I had a four door car, they'd have to get in the backseat, they'd be like, you have a computer in your car? I'm like, yeah. You know, you got a printer in your car? Yeah, watch this. You know, and I think Wi Fi might have just been becoming a thing.

So if I was, I had a whole Wi Fi, it wasn't part of the computer. You'd had to have this extra thing. And I could, um, there was no map or there was no GPS. So, um, there might've been GPS units, but we did not have that in our cell phone. So I would feel cool. My version of. Do my OnStar game with my guests would be like, where we want to go here.

Let's print the map quest. And it would print right out of my car. Paper would come out of my car and I did, we would have our map to where we were going. So 

Booda: that's pretty cool. 

Michael: I felt pretty cool. And just the fact that I had this technology job, you know, installing these tracking chips and the look on people's faces when they saw me that I'm the guy to do it.

And then the relief when it worked out good and their car look, I put it back together, right. You know? Yeah. So, uh, so yeah, I just loved that. And I just thought I was on top of the world. And initially our teachers had planned. The first plan wasn't for me to just fully drop out of school. The first plan was, um, I was supposed to graduate early.

I was supposed to graduate at 17. And so they said, listen, you're ahead. Why don't you take the rest of this year off, get yourself straight and get your head back in the game? And then you'll come back next year as a senior and you'll still graduate at like winter time where you'll, you'll get an early graduation.

It'll still be like kind of the same thing. 

But I mean, between that job and then now smoking marijuana came into effect, which wow, looking back on it now. That, the smoking marijuana and partying, uh, the marijuana really brought a different crowd to me, and I think that because I was rejected so much, I really fell in love with, you know, oh man, if I just, you know, uh, buy, uh, More than I'll smoke.

I could give some people some stuff. I don't want to incriminate myself and say I was a drug dealer But uh, you know I just I found this niche to kind of start Having a group of people that needed me for something and liked me for something and I felt cool for one of the first times In my life. 

Booda: Wow.

Michael: Yeah, 

Booda: man And and this breakup with the the girl that you were with in high school You Was this something that was a mutual thing or were you pretty heartbroken over it? , I know you said you guys had gone through the ringer, but I didn't know if maybe you guys had both come up to like, you know, maybe we should move the, you know, we're both ready to, to break this apart.

Or if it was just kind of like a, oh, like a more on her side type of thing, which would add to the stress and anxiety on your part. 

Michael: So, yeah, it's a great question. Um, I, I can, I can remember this pretty vividly. So, I have always had an interest in history. I've always had an interest in technology and in this time period, having my cool computer in my car, I spent a lot of time on YouTube.

And in this period of time, YouTube was not monitored and censored. There's things that I learned on YouTube that I would tell my parents about. And they would say, this is the work of the devil telling you that the government does these things. You're, you're being confused. This is not how it, this is not what's going on.

And then I think COVID opened a lot of people's eyes and my parents have sat me down since and said, how did you know this stuff that you knew? How did you know this? I said, because YouTube back in the day, until the person mysteriously vanished, it was out there and I was nonstop, just, I was addicted to information.

I wanted to know about the possibilities of extraterrestrial life or government conspiracies and things like that. And people were pretty vocal about it at the time. It was not like where we are now, you know, and on the same accord, I also want to stress that it was nothing like that. TikTok. I think some people might hear that and go, Oh, it was more like TikTok.

No. TikTok. Um, can we take a curve down? Because 

Booda: yeah, yeah. 

Michael: So TikTok in my belief is a, um, is a, is a massive psychological attack from outside of our government. It's not being done to us by our government. And I think our government is genuinely concerned, um, about your behavior. Safety because it is turning people's brains to mush.

I know recently when the eclipse happened. A lot of people thought the world was going to end. They thought all kinds of just intense spiritual things that were going to happen. And you know, here we are. And I would comment on their page and I would tell them, delete TikTok. Like, if the world is going to end, don't you want to be happy all the way up to your last moment?

What What good does this do you just in the state that you're in? And so I would comment and then, yeah, when the eclipse happened and everything was good, I, several people took the time to, to inbox me and say, you were right. And I, I think I have severe mental disorder now, and I don't know where to turn.

I don't know where to go. I've, I've stopped my kids from the TikTok, but I use it for social me, you know, this reason or that reason. And, uh, and yeah, so I just want to make it very clear that YouTube was not, there was no propaganda behind it. There was no algorithm. That's really it. There was nothing trying to figure out who you are and influencing you.

It was truly a community of people sharing their perspective and sharing information. I mean, there was the, the water machines were on there for the free, uh, free energy machines were on there. Um, you know, the Mexican government around 2007 had, uh, posted some of the incredible crop, uh, circle videos and things like that and presented it in a way where they even presented it in a way where they said, this might be a dummy in the photo, or it might be an elaborate hoax, but from everything that we have gathered.

We are still confused how some of this, how some of these things are happening. So, um, so yeah, just kind of a tidbit there on on YouTube. 

Booda: I agree 100 percent man. I remember old school YouTube Fucking it back. I mean my videos I I was more into like toaster cat and shit like that. You know what I mean? 

Michael: Ebaums world type stuff.

Booda: Ebaums world. Yeah, you said fucking Ebaums world. That was YouTube before YouTube. But yeah, I mean, I remember I remember It was just different. It is different. And it's weird now, even with everything, you know, being a part of the marketing team here for ARC, we found a pretty decent amount of success on the TikTok platform.

So I am hoping that, you know, that with this bill, who knows when this episode is going to drop, but I know that there was a bill that was signed recently that if shit does not get changed, and if it doesn't, Uh, cross hands with the right people that could regulate it and take care of it. That's gonna be banned here, and I agree, I feel it sucks.

Because it is, it can, it has the potential to be a fantastic platform. But, yeah man, I mean it, I, I can't fucking stand when, when people, especially parents, going back to the whole cool parents conversation, when they just let their kids scroll through TikTok, I mean I'm talking infants, dude. I don't know, there's something not right about it.

Michael: Yeah, I, I, I agree with that. And I think to add to that, just with my experience, I've, I've had friends, you know, a lot of my friends are female that are closer to my age and they're just friends. And that's, that's a lot of what bonds the friendship is that I am just a, uh, a brother figure. And some of the friends that I know that have kids and stuff, I might be talking to them on the phone and I'll hear that their kid is nearby the phone and I, I'm not, and I'm on speaker and I'll say, are you, is this Uh, who's listening to this convo?

Oh my, you know, my son is in the room. And I'll be like, this is not a conversation for your son. Their son is like seven years old. This is not a conversation. And the response would be something along the lines. Well, this is the real world. And I want to teach my kid what the real world really is all about.

And I'm fast forward. Now, these, this, this son, her son is struggling and is going down a, uh, uh, I see a dark path. And he's. He's very crude and very gruff and it, you know, the, the most important job that we have as not only parents, but as elders in this world is to preserve the innocence of children for as long as possible.

The innocence in children is one of the last pure sources for For God to work through and it's there for you to connect with them to relive your first time riding a bike, your first time going to the movie cinema. These, this is, uh, uh, this is supposed to be here for not only you to teach them, But for them to teach you.

And so we absolutely must, it's one of the last things that we've got that are so good on this earth. And it's, you have the responsibility, even if you don't have a child out there to just create a positive experience for a child and, and build their courage in themselves and their confidence so that they can go out and conquer the world.

And when they're faced in these dark roads or they come down to these alleys, it's They have the tools they need to safely escape. 

Booda: Absolutely. And for anyone listening, I know a lot of our listeners, you guys are in recovery. And I know that there were times in before recovery ever came into your life that I know that you guys were struggling and maybe you didn't have good relationships with your kids and things like that.

Yes, the world is getting worse and this is a real world and people do have to be aware of the things that are going on. But through your strength and through your recovery. All of the sacrifices you're having to make and the changes you're having to make to be a better parent and to be present in those moments with your family and with your kids, regardless of the mistakes, regardless of the addiction, regardless of the dark roads that it took you, what matters is the resilience and the fact that you are making that change and don't hold on to that shame or that guilt, man.

You know what I'm saying? But kids are resilient. They are resilient, but you know what I'm saying? At the same time too, like, Use those situations that you've been through, uh, to be able to help, you know, your babies and your, your kids, cause you never know what kind of struggles they're gonna go through growing up, so.

Michael: Amen. Yeah, I love that. Amen. Yeah. 

Booda: And, and, uh, you know, when, when did your life start spiraling? Like, you know, I know you, you weren't in, you know, Addiction, really bad to the point, I don't know if you had any rehab or any type of things like that, but I know you had dabbled in certain substances, and I know you were struggling really bad with your depression and your anxiety.

Take us to that moment, man. When did those worlds all collide? 

Michael: So, it's, we're really right there in the story. So, um, I, One of the first drug addictions that I ever had was a substance called spice. I was about, yeah, you remember that? 

Booda: Yeah. 

Michael: So when I was, Um, 18, 19, 20 years old. Um, this is about the time that spice started and I thought it was just the greatest thing because it made you feel higher than, uh, you know, marijuana.

And it was absolutely legal. You know, one of my big fears and still is. You know, still is, is I don't want to be arrested. I don't want to be arrested. That's always, my mom had never been arrested. And the first time that we were in a car together and my mom got pulled over for, just got a speeding ticket.

I was trembling. I was so scared. There it is. And yeah, I didn't know if we were going to jail or what was going to happen. And, uh, I became addicted to spice and I had the spice addiction for years. I mean, even when they made it illegal. You know, I still found my way of figuring out who had it and who didn't.

And this really dampened a beautiful relationship that I had at the time. And it's interesting because as of recent, I've had a conversation with this young lady about our past relationship and she never thought substances was ever an issue. In the relationship or in my life. And, you know, yeah, ultimately I was smoking spice from the second I woke up to the second I fell asleep, people would come over with marijuana and go, Oh, I got this, whatever special, you know, purple elephant, whatever.

And I would just look at him and be like, that is not going to do anything for me. 

Booda: Dude. Every time I heard people talking about spice, it was like, I heard people say that they like fell into different realms and crazy shit. Like. Was that something that subsided as you continued, like, use? Like, did you not get as high anymore?

Michael: As they continued to change the chemicals around to get around the laws, because that's how they would work this particular substance is, uh, you know, it was sold as an incense. So they would take a chemical and they would spray it onto incense. And they would say, this is not for human consumption, but But the intent was for us to smoke it.

So the DEA, the government would pick on and they'd say, well, we're going to ban these chemicals this year. So then they would just, you know, add a helix, add a little water, do something to the chemistry to change, you know, the, the way it's formed. And then now we've got the new spice. So spice as it went on, got less and less and less impactful where I needed to smoke more and more and more of it to stay.

You know, in that place. This is a very intense, uh, drug, and I was later in life interviewed by the DEA. This, and this is where we get into like methamphetamine addiction. So I did the spice for a while and then the spice went away and I eventually got a job at a, uh, a smoke shop, my music and everything.

I put on pause because I had pursued music, you know, obviously from three years old. All the way up until I was a director of a nightclub in Scottsdale called Afterlife and it was an 18 up club, so at 21 years old I felt pretty cool being the director of a nightclub and this guy that owned the club would buy me fancy shoes and give me fancy watches and he sort of taught me how to dress.

He'd say, hey, you shouldn't button all the buttons on your blazer. I go, I like how it looks and he goes, yeah, but you're dealing with people that that's a they'll know You don't know you got to dress a certain way So this was kind of a an influential figure that came in and told me, you know Put your watch on the left side do this stuff like that, you know little thing Which i'm sitting here now with my this is not a watch but um, but um So, I'm smoking spice, and eventually I get this job at a smoke shop. Well, the owner of the smoke shop happened to be the largest manufacturer of spice in the entire West Coast. 

Booda: Oh my god, bro. 

Michael: And I did not even have a clue. I had his strategy was to Um, put the product in several different types of bottles and then go into the smoke shops and offer it to them on consignment so that his, he guaranteed got placement in the stores and then when you went in and you made a purchase and you said, I don't like that.

I want to try this. He wins. Oh, well, why don't we try mixing it up? We'll do these three different types. He wins. And so eventually that the DEA came down on him and they told him that if he gave me up that, um, nothing bad would happen to me and it would help his court case. Cause they knew that I wasn't smoking at the time.

I had, I had sort of stopped. Once I figured out what was going on, I had, I had quit, you know, and when it went illegal, it got, it became very hard to get a hold of and, uh, it just wasn't worth the risk anymore. So yeah, I ended up pretty much confessing to the DEA, like, I've done acid. I've done ecstasy. I did a lot of acid and ecstasy.

In those club days, because as a DJ and as, um, a nightclub director, that's a club job doing ecstasy and things like that was very common. And, you know, we were like the jackass of drug users. We would do just, just three pills, four pills, uh, people would offer. Well, if you, uh, put a. Pill up your behind and we'll give it to you for free and nobody ever died.

And I mean, we would liberate abandoned buildings in Phoenix. We would find out what buildings were nobody was in and we'd throw raves in them. The undergrounds. It was, I was pretty into that. So, okay. So I interview with the DEA. 

Booda: Okay. 

Michael: I interview with the DEA. I confess all the drugs that I'm on and the DEA, uh, Obama is in office at the time and these DEA guys were scary.

When I first walked in, I don't know what I thought I was walking into, but these dudes were like, like wrestler, huge buff, their shirts were probably bought from baby gap, but everything else was, and so, yeah. And so I was very intimidated, very intimidated. I think the one guy looked like Wesley Snipes in his prime and just ripped out.

It was like this black guy with the same haircut. It was like so sketchy. And so, yeah, they just kind of basically started trying to convince me that spice was like marijuana. Our own president says that marijuana is probably safer than alcohol. So you could agree that spice is like marijuana. And I said, no, it is not.

I, and they go, well, what is it like? I said, it's like LSD. It's like, it's an acid trip. It's some, it's mildly psychedelic. You know, there's plenty of times where I would be drinking and I'd be in my, uh, front yard of a party. Somewhere that I was staying and I'd smoke some spice and I would call the person that owned the house.

And I'd go, I'm lost, man. Can you tell me, can you come outside? I don't know what house is yours. And he'd open the door and I'm right there. He's like, dude, you're standing in my front yard. So there's plenty of times where I would dissociate and not know what was going on. And I think that this is the beginning of opening the portals.

This is the beginning of my gift of discernment launching forwards and, uh, starting to have many synchronicities, many coincidences, saying things to people that I didn't even know what I was saying. And many times I've said things to people that I didn't know what I was saying, and it got me in a lot of trouble.

because I'm innocently just kind of having a conversation. And then it's like, how do you know that? Yeah. Who are you? You know? So, um, so yeah. And then it was all a ploy. They, the DEA was just trying to get me to agree that it was like marijuana, because if they could, Say that my friend was synthesizing marijuana, then they could arrest him because synthesizing marijuana was illegal, but he ended up getting off because, uh, it, the only thing they could get him on was that it didn't have a manufacturing label.

And then the, uh, the DEA just kind of let me go as well. And it drifted away. So while I'm in this smoke shop, uh, and we're dealing with the DEA, the owner of the smoke shop goes to jail because he needed to surrender himself while the, you know, this process is happening. And I'm basically the full time only employee of this smoke shop from open to close.

It's the Michael show. . And it was a really cool time because it was like when the e vapes were just the big cloud machines was coming out and we had a lot of people. And so I kind of would hook people up or whatever. And one of the times that I gave this guy what he perceived as a deal, which I just had my markup in my strategy, he gave me a little baggie of something.

And right. And so I just accepted it and put it in my pocket. I didn't even look at it. It was in the smoke shop. We're dealing with the DEA. I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to be obvious about what's happening. I thought it was pot. So at the end of my shift or maybe after he left a couple hours at least had gone by I looked at it And it was crystal meth and I had never Seen it before and I just think I remember looking at it and being like wow It really looks like a little crystal and you know, I was very it's very it seems so clean and just so Wow And so yeah, you know, we had some method, you know utensils for smoking methamphetamines in the And so this is the beginning of, uh, the darkest days in my entire life.